Daybreak A novella
by orangeturquoise
Summary: There's more out there than wolves and vampires. One is coming to Forks, kin of the wolf pack, but not their ally. Will her special abilities destroy the town or reform it? told from alternating POVs; Part 7 is now up!
1. Chapter 1

_**Daybreak. A novella.**_

The first thought that went through my mind when the teacher introduced the new student was: "If we ever got married she wouldn't even have to change her name."  
Considerably amusing since this random thought was only prompted by a coincidental similarity concerning last names. Apart from that there was nothing about Harper Anne Whitlock that would suggest such a train of thought. Not that she wasn't attractive. Although not a classic beauty she had something captivating about her.  
The only free place was the one right in front of me. After settling down she pulled up her shoulders like a shield and tried to make herself as small as possible. I didn't need to read her emotions to know she hated being the centre of attention. Nervously she began chewing on a strand of her almost black hair. I could have used my ability to calm her down a bit, but firstly I had made it my rule not to manipulate other's, especially other human's emotions unless it became necessary. Secondly she didn't need to be completely weirded out on her first day already. In Forks that would happen soon enough anyway.  
The lesson was nearing its end and Harper Anne still hadn't said a single word. Almost the entire time I had been staring at the back of her head. There was something else that I couldn't put my finger on. I could see this girl right in front of me, I could sense her feelings if I set out to do so. I could clearly hear every one of her shallow breaths, just like I heard the breathing of every other person in the room. Then it hit me.

She had no smell.

I could sense, smell, almost taste the liters of blood running through the veins of my classmates. Each one was distinct and somewhat familiar. Angela smelled particularly good today. It was always hard to restrain myself. But the new girl was a most confusing exception. No smell. Weird. I would ask Edward or Carlisle about it later.

Since Rose and Emmett left for "college" our round had diminished drastically. Now it was only Edward, Bella and I sitting at our usual cafeteria table, which in effect was half empty whereas the rest of the tables were crowded beyond reason. I was just about to rip Bella and Edward out of their adoring each other to inquire their opinions about the new arrival when I heard her distinct breathing next to me. She was standing a bit behind me and let her eyes wander around the room. The first day at a new school always sucks, and especially so when you haven't made any acquaintances until lunchtime. I stared at her out of the corner of my eye. Still there was nothing to be smelled. She bit her lip warily and was just about to turn around and leave the cafeteria again, presumably to have her lunch on one of the benches outside. Many new arrivals had chosen this path before. Some took until senior year to get a place inside.  
Right now it was September and pouring. What happened next is pretty inexplicable. Maybe it was my odd fascination with her, maybe the manners I had been taught when I was still human, and perhaps it was plain compassion or a mixture of all this and some things more. Moving aside on the bench I said: "You can sit here if you want to."  
Not only did I manage to startle Bella and Edward to no end, but most of all Miss Harper Anne Whitlock. Her reaction was quite priceless, though. She looked at me as if she was having an apparition. Her reading glasses slid down her nose a bit and she almost dropped her water bottle. I thought an apologetic "I'll explain it later." to Edward before concentrating on the newbie again.  
"We won't bite you, I promise." I said as she was still standing, staring and clutching her lunch. The irony in my words made the other two grimace, yet it was true. The complete absence of any scent also meant the absence of any feelings of hunger, thirst or even just appetite.  
"Th-th-thank you." She mumbled timidly and sat down.  
"I'm Jasper. We're in the same English class." I introduced myself in the vain attempt to find out some more about her by means of conversation.  
"Harper Anne. Harper is enough though." She managed a weak smile. Naturally her skin must have had an olive tone, but probably accounted to stress she looked very pale that day.  
"Nice to meet you, Harper. These two gawking subjects are my brother Edward and his girlfriend Bella." Edward shot me a glare, but the two of them had indeed been gawking. I wondered if Ed was trying to read her thoughts and if he was successful in doing so. She displayed an oddity in one way already, so maybe her mind was equally as impenetrable as Bella's. It was a big mystery.  
"So what brings you to our most idyllic Forks?" Edward asked. Apparently he had regained his own manners. Harper told us, after many following questions, that her family had moved here from Virginia because her Dad had been transferred to Port Angeles where he worked for one of the bigger law firms. The Whitlocks now lived in the big blue mansion on the edge of town, which was about half ways between Bella's and our place. Harper had almost the same courses as me, except for PE instead of music. It was for that reason she rose from the table a few minutes earlier, excusing herself as she still had to get her gear from the locker, which was conveniently located on the opposite corner of the premises. As soon as she was out of our hearing range I turned to Edward.

"Did you notice anything?" I asked.  
"Except for you being oddly sociable all of a sudden? You're not developing a crush on the newbie, are you?" he replied sarcastically.  
"Anything strange I mean. Did you notice anything about her that's somehow out of the ordinary?"  
"Well, except for what I just pointed out… "  
"Edward!" I rolled my eyes at him. He could be so annoying if he wanted to.  
"I can't read her thoughts. It's like a hypersensitive firewall inside her head. I can't get in." he sounded a little frustrated.  
"And she has no smell, Jazz." Now he almost sounded freaked out. Understandable, because to us vampires the scent of another individual is as integral for identifying them as the face is for humans. Actually even more so, because the smell of a person reveals so much more information about them. A person without a scent is basically like a blind spot in the middle of your range of vision.  
"Carlisle might know something about it." Bella suggested.

The days went by and turned into weeks. I had told Esme and Carlisle about my observations, but neither had ever heard of such a phenomenon. Harper continued sitting with us at lunch, her and Bella always being the only one actually eating. She didn't say much unless asked, but nevertheless grew calmer and more relaxed. She was indeed the most timid person I had ever encountered. Her voice never rose above a whisper. In lessons she never raised her hand to say something, yet her written works were usually on the level of excellence. Despite the fact that she even made me feel to be very sociable in comparison it never seemed as if she were actively hiding anything. Still Harper remained an enigma to her environment.  
In October the sun broke through for a few days, so Edward and I took it as a possibility to go hunting. Poor Bella would be terribly moody and downcast all day and even poorer Harper would have to endure it. I teased Edward with a comic imagination of a Bella fit of rage at lunch break. He didn't think it was funny. I can't see why.  
The hunt was uneventful and we stilled our thirst. Returning around midnight we arrived almost at the same time as Carlisle, who had been working the late shift at the hospital.  
"I met your riddle today." He said. "She came in with her little sister."  
"She was okay, though?" I inquired. Carlisle gave me a weird look.  
"Yes, she was alright, just a few scratches. And …" Carlisle was hesitant. There was something he wasn't sure he should share with me. In moments like these I would gladly trade my power for Edward's. Instead I had to resort to digging deeper.  
"Yes? And what?"  
"Well, as you both said the girl has no characteristic scent of her own – the same counts for the sister by the way – but their clothes smelled of wolf."

* * *

Since we moved to Forks my life has become increasingly complicated, so that now I don't even know how or where to begin. Let's start with the best. Now we live near La Push again and are able to visit some members of the family again. My mum is originally from around here. This is where she was born and raised. She and her cousin Sue were like sisters before they both got married and mum moved away with dad. I was born in Texas, my little sister Ember in Iowa. Over the last years we lived in Virginia and now dad got transferred back to Washington. Actually the two family branches are only cousins about as far removed as Alaska is from New Mexico, but due to our mums growing up together we are close to our cousins Leah and Seth. I love them to bits and pieces and was really happy they came to visit one evening. Amber went absolutely hyper over it. She's six years old and adores both of them beyond reason. As soon as they were in the house she was already clinging to poor Seth's neck and demanded that he play hide and seek with her. Dad had had to stay the night in Seattle and our mums went to a movie or theatre together. At first everything just went smoothly and I would never have expected the night to turn out the way it did. I made some dinner and got into chatting with Leah. It was so easy, just if no time at all had passed since we had last seen each other. The two younger ones had been playing, but as soon as they smelled food they stood in the kitchen entrance, spoons and plates ready. It wasn't until I asked Leah to get something from the coat wardrobe in the hallway that the trouble began. She came back and her expression had changed so completely that for a moment I doubted it was still the same person whom I had been laughing with only a moment ago. She held out my scarf accusingly.

"This smells of bloodsuckers." Not this stupid wolf-vampire battle again.  
"Jasper and Edward Cullen. I sit with them and Bella Swann at lunchtime. " I replied defensively. I knew she knew them.  
"How come?" she barked sarcastically.  
"Since they were the only ones at the entire school to offer me a place..." Or rather, since Jasper was the only one to have offered me a place. What a gentleman. From the first day on I had been sitting next to him at lunch break, barely daring to say a word. It was only logical that my clothes would smell of the two brothers then. Leah and Seth were wolves now. It was understandable that they reacted that way. Still, it annoyed me to no end.  
"So that is how you honor your people." Seth hissed. Both siblings now stood on one side of the lounge while I stood at the opposite side. Ember was scared by the sudden turn of the situation and hid behind me.  
"There is nothing I have to be ashamed of. No, shut it Leah. I know what you want to say, but let me tell you one thing: I am not _fraternizing with the enemy_, alright? You – the whole pack - are just so set in their opinion. Nothing beats a simple world view I guess." Whoa, that was harsh, almost mean.  
"You are forgetting your destiny, your purpose, Anne." Ouch, that hurt. I hate it when someone calls me Anne. Plus my so-called `purpose´ was the root of all my troubles.  
Leah and Seth were on the brink of going ballistic now, their bodies shaking vigorously and their teeth bared threateningly.  
"You won't have any more than the necessary contact with those monsters anymore, do you hear me?" Seth demanded. How dare he? Now it was my turn to get upset.  
"I will not be ordered around by a half child who is not even in the full possession of his senses." I declared in a dangerously low voice. Ember behind me was crying and clutching the hem of my sweater fearfully. "Do you hear me?" I mocked his tone. "Out."  
Neither moved an inch. It was a most critical situation. Unlike a few minutes earlier I wasn't so sure anymore that they could control themselves. Two exploding werewolves in the middle of our house wasn't exactly a fortunate thing to happen. I could probably calm them down, but who knew how long it would take me?  
"Will you stop meeting these bloodsuckers?" Leah inquired. Too bad that I can be just as stubborn.  
"Mind your own business."  
The minute the words left my lips I knew I had pushed my luck too far. First Seth and then Leah exploded into their wolf shape, effectively knocking over the coffee table between us. They leapt at me like one, perfectly simultaneous, and knocked me off my feet. The little one was pushed away and hit her little head on the hard wooden floor. I felt a burning sensation on my arm, which I had held up in defense, and on my forehead. I felt the blood trickling down my temple. Stupid, stupid wolves. One of them was hovering right above me, the other stood next to me, but both so close that all the air I could breathe was hot werewolf breath. I knew what I had to do. I only hoped that it would work fast enough, before they really forgot themselves. An image of Emily flashed through my head. I wasn't scared though, only concerned.

With as much force as I could muster I slammed my hands up into the chests of my two cousins and held on tightly. What could have been no longer than a few moments felt like an eternity, but finally they transformed back. I couldn't keep this last comment to myself, even though they both looked really miserable.  
"Seems like I have more to fear from my own kin than a few vampires, who by the way are very well behaved."  
"Harper, please…" Leah began weakly, but for now I was irreconcilable.  
"I think it's better when you leave now." Not awaiting an answer I got to my feet, carefully picked my sister off the floor and hurried to the car. She had lost her conscience and received a nasty blow. It was bleeding and would perhaps have to be stitched. I needed to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Arriving at the emergency room I stumbled upon Dr Carlisle Cullen, of all people. Apparently he worked the late shift. I could have thought of that before. Luckily he had another patient already, so I wouldn't get in any danger of causing harm. I could only tell that he was a vampire and therefore Dr Cullen by one strange aspect of my `talent´. He gave me a very peculiar, but not unkind look when I checked in.  
Luckily Ember wasn't as bad as I had feared. The wound didn't even have to be stitched and she awoke fairly soon, too. Looking into the mirror I found that I looked quite awful myself. My skin looked pale in comparison to the dark red streak that ran across half my forehead. My dark hair was sticky from the blood and my forehead as well as my hand burned terribly. A nervous intern cleaned out our wounds and carefully covered them with plaster. He didn't ask how it happened, which I was grateful for. I couldn't have come up with a plausible story at that moment. It would be hard enough to explain it to my mum.

That night I lay wide awake and thought about vampires, wolves and myself. Well, mostly about vampires. I didn't think they are as bad as Leah and the others make them. The Cullens for example have lived here many years without harming anyone. Leah wrote so herself in her many letters. Plus I believe in peaceful coexistence. But maybe I'm not very objective. Although I do not exactly feel guilty about what happened to the one in Iowa the experience has taught me that I am a danger factor. This was why I made the biggest effort never to let my skin get in contact with Edward or Jasper. I knew that it would not end well for them and they seemed really decent. At the same time they were my only point of reference outside of La Push. Observed benevolently I would almost call them friends, although I tried not to let them get too close. I blocked them out and felt horrible for doing so. The fact that I continued sitting with them was only due to my selfishness. This made me feel even more horrible about myself. Even though I knew I was a danger I felt irrevocably drawn towards this true southern gentleman named Jasper. Sometimes I'm almost sure that I have madly fallen … no, I don't, I don't , I don't. I can't. I mustn't. Shit. Quit smiling at me, Jasper. I'll be your demise if we don't watch out.

* * *

The rain was pouring down relentlessly from the black clouds. Finally the sunny weather was over and we could return to school. Bella was happy. Edward was happy. I was on my way to biology class. There I met Harper again. She looked horrible with her forehead and arm covered with the thick white plaster. I casually asked her what happened, even though I had already made up my mind. She answered, shyly as always, that it had merely been a little accident in the kitchen and that it looked worse than it was. I had expected that she would back for the wolves. Still, I felt a tiny twinge of disappointment.  
Apart from that biology was uneventful, as was history. In art I drew the silhouettes of a girl and two wolves in front of a large full moon. I only got a glimpse of Harper's drawing. What I could make out were two demonic looking creatures in fighting stance. Although I didn't know exactly what had happened with the wolves I figured this had something to do with it. Maybe it was her way to cope, to clear things up for herself.  
At lunch she didn't say much, as usual, but I noticed something I hadn't paid attention to before. Whenever Edward or I came near her she quickly pulled her hand away. I didn't think it was personal, more of a reflex. Maybe she knew deep down inside what we are. Maybe there were different reasons. Maybe … there were too many assumptions. Therefore I decided to take a look at Harper's emotional state.

To understand what happened next it's important to understand how my ability works. When I was first transformed it was near to impossible to control it. The emotions of every being in close vicinity stormed into my mind. They literally became mine and I was about to go insane with fear, despair and hate. It was war time after all. The people felt mainly this and so much more. The biggest issue with all these conflicting emotions in me was that they were out of context. Whenever a new feeling came into my radar I was confronted with something contrary. Anger and relief. Panic and hope. Love and hate and loss and grief. It drove me crazy not to have my heart to myself. It is this special kind of privacy that you cannot appreciate until you know how it is without. Because you sense the emotions of each and every single person around you, you can never be sure what comes from them and what comes from yourself. I have never been so close to losing myself. It took me years to figure out how I could consciously manipulate others.

What happened next I truly hadn't anticipated. Although I was completely focused and Harper was sitting less than three inches next to me it was absolutely impossible to receive any signal. As it seemed she was immune to any of our abilities. I just wish my disappointment at the failed attempt of reading Harper's feelings wasn't noticeable when she took her leave for PE. What bugged me most was the fact that I had hoped to find out a bit more about her position towards me. There were simply too many conflicting signals coming from her. I couldn't form a clear picture of it. There was too much information missing.

* * *

Let it be noted that destiny is an ironic bitch. Our new topic in English is illustriously entitled "love & loss" and after telling a long rigmarole without actually saying much the teacher handed out two poems at the end of the lesson. It was almost scary the way these poems, especially the first one, were speaking from my heart, echoing my sentiments exactly and holding up a mirror to me, forcing me to admit at least to myself what I felt.

**I want to go with the one I love**

I want to go with the one I love,  
I want to be with him and him alone,  
I want to be near him, whatever the cost,  
I want to be with him, whether it's good or not;

I don't want to ponder if he requites my love,  
I don't want to worry if he is safe and sound,  
I don't want to miss him when he's not around,  
I want to go with him, the one whom I love.

I was in love with a vampire. And it couldn't be. That first day I should have just ignored him. I should have gone outside and not let myself look into his golden eyes, not give into his soft, warm voice and the kind smile. I feared that because I did we were now both doomed and lost.

Filled up with my angst I came into an empty house. Tiny, that's how I call my sister affectionately, was on a class trip and mum had taken up the opportunity to spend a night out with dad. The answering machine was flashing. There were altogether two messages on it and both directed at me. One was from Seth. He wanted to apologize, but he is not like his sister. She can hold grudges for a lifetime. But then so can I. Being still mad at both of them I decided to keep them on tenterhooks for the time being.

The second message was from Jacob Black, which was fairly surprising at first. As I hadn't been fighting with him and had nothing worthwhile to do that wouldn't send me toward the edge of despair I called him back.  
"Jacob? It's Harper here."  
"Oh, hey there. How's it going?" he asked, trying to sound casual. But I wasn't planning to beat around the bush.  
"Well, that pretty much depends on what you're going to tell me now."  
"Leah says you're siding with the bloodsuckers." He said in a most accusing tone.  
"Leah should sometimes consider keeping her mouth shut." I replied defensively.  
"Maybe I just have some trouble understanding this, but aren't you actually supposed to …"  
"Nobody tells me what to do!" I interrupted him.  
"Whatever is it with those bloodsuckers?!" Jacob sighed. He was thinking of Bella, of course.  
"Well, these at least aren't so bad really. And it's not like they chose to be that way either." I tried to reason. To no avail.  
"I expected you would defend them, Harper. It's a pity really. Someone with your abilities … the whole pack was counting you in."  
"Jacob, there still is a treaty between you and the Cullens. Plus, this ability, how you call it, is nothing but a curse. You have never seen it in action. Neither of you has, so neither of you has any right to judge me. I'm not a bomb you can throw at your enemy just like that." This outbreak left him speechless for a moment so I went on ranting.  
"By the way: I would defend any of you just as enthusiastically if I ever had to. Maybe all of you bloody wolves should start to use some common sense for once. This is not a war, Jacob. I really think that we could all live together peacefully. It just needs to come from both sides."  
"Stop spending your time with them." He demanded, calmly but in a firm voice.  
"That's completely out of the question."  
"You are without a doubt the most stubborn person I know."  
"Look in the mirror, Jacob." I hissed.  
"Please, Harper. We're all primarily thinking about you and your safety. Vampires are dangerous."  
"Up until now they haven't tried to kill me, unlike my own cousins."  
"Are you really not going to reconsider your decision?"  
"No, not under the given circumstances. You can't force me. None of you can."  
"Traitor!"  
"How dare you?" I almost raised my voice, but Jacob had already hung up on me. Great.  
Suddenly I felt as if I was being watched. Quickly I swirled around and faced the window. Nothing. Fantastic. Now I was also going paranoid. I felt cold and lonely, so I decided to take a bath.

* * *

Now that was close! Harper almost caught me eavesdropping at her window. Explaining what I was doing on her window sill would have been hard indeed. Although from what I gathered she is kind of an insider to our world. This at least clears up some points. And at the same time poses so many new questions. Due to my vampiric senses I had been able to hear not only her clear whispering but also Jacob Black on the other end of the line. He had mentioned her abilities, that they would be helpful against vampires. As she was clearly not a wolf I had no idea what those could be. Nevertheless she was related to them. So why did she side with us then? It made no sense at all. Was it a scheme and Harper had been sent to infiltrate us? I didn't think that very probable, still it was an option to be kept in mind.  
I wonder what Edward would say if he knew what I was doing right now. He does know I tend to behave obsessively. Probably something sarcastic, but he already has found his soul mate in Bella. Rosalie had her Emmett and Carlisle had Esme. It was only me who was alone. I had to think of one of the poems our teacher had handed out to us today.

**I want to follow the one I love**

I want to follow the one I love,  
I want to be with her and her alone,  
No one shall possess her if I can't own a corner of her heart,  
A bit of quiet recognition and no hate is all I ask;

I care not if she loves me too, or not  
As long as she is near and safe and sound,  
I mind not if her spirit can't be bound,  
For I will go with her, the one I love.

Harper had absentmindedly started to scribble something on her sheet: the letters J and A. that's how far she had gotten until the bell rang. I wondered if _J-a_ stood for Jacob. It hadn't sounded like that at all when they were on the phone.  
I also thought about some of the things Harper had said to Jacob. A peaceful coexistence of wolves and vampires … I was skeptical before, but the way she said it, so insistently, it almost seemed possible. Of course we would have to keep to our `vegetarian´ diet. This part of our lifestyle had always been the hardest for me to adapt to. It's like being used to steak each day and suddenly you have to do with tofu. Every human is a temptation. Everyone except Harper. In fact I made the observation that her presence blinds out the surrounding scents of human blood. They just kind of faded from my perception. It was likely that this was part of her powers. It was not only for this reason that I enjoyed to be around her.

The next days passed forth uneventfully. I found myself indulging in every little thing Harper did or said. I even went as far as asking Edward when he had known that Bella was the love of his life. He only informed me that the whole school thought I was dating Harper already anyway. Well, he can talk. I never felt like this before in almost two hundred years. It's not just because I am less of a monster around her, or because she is kind and smart and graceful and easy to be with. This goes deeper. And I didn't even want to start counting the problems I would be facing.

* * *

A little over a week had passed since my call to Jacob. There was still silence between the wolf pack and me. I was on edge, caught between the devil and the deep blue sea if you will. On the one side were the wolves, a sort of second family, and loyalty bound me to them. On the other side was the one I loved more than anything and whom I could never be with.

This day we were going to watch "Romeo & Juliet" together with the other English course that Bella and Edward attended. For the duration of the movie our room was overcrowded with double the number of students. By coincidence I suddenly found myself on a place awfully close to Jasper in the back of the class room. I prayed that nothing bad would happen. As a precaution I made myself as small and stiff as possible, allowing only my hands to rest on my lap. The movie, same as the whole topic, was torturous for me. Even more so than Romeo I was fortune's fool. For him at least it was only outer circumstances, nothing that came from within himself, no imminent threat to his love.  
At some point during the second half I suddenly felt a hand on mine. Jasper was tenderly intertwining his fingers with mine. I wanted to scream, pull my hand away, and just do something. Instead I froze, unable to act. Only for a moment I hadn't watched out because I had been too engrossed in the classic story of eternal love. Now that fired back at me full circle. Fearfully I glanced up at my beloved, expecting him to drop to the floor any moment and die a slow, horrible and painful death. And it would be my fault alone.  
I waited and waited. It seemed like an eternity until I realized that nothing was happening. No seizures, no agony on his part. Not like in Iowa. Jasper must have noticed my confused and incredulous look, for he squeezed my hand reassuringly. Could it be that my cursed talent didn't affect him? Maybe it didn't necessarily lead to destruction. Maybe Iowa had been an exception. I certainly hoped so.

* * *

A/N: So, this is my first Twilight fanfic. I neither own the books (only copies of them, but unfortunately that doesn't count), nor do I own Jackson Rathbone, who plays Jasper in the upcoming movie. What a pity! Anyway, this idea was brought to word data file within a matter of mere days, while I should have been learning for several class tests.  
About the poems: they were inspired by a very short poem by the German playwright and poet Bertolt Brecht. The original is entitled "Ich will mit dem gehen, den ich liebe" (in English "I want to go with the one I love"). there exists a website with this poem amongst others with direct English translations. Maybe try to google it with both titles and the autor's name if you're interested. I only took it as a basis to elaborate on.  
Comments are always very welcome, but if criticism please make it constructive. It's only fair. I'm also not a native speaker, so if you notice something wrong or odd concerning language feel free to point it out to me.  
So far I have only read the first three books, since the fourth one won't be published here until next February, so please no spoilers!

Well, I think that's all. I hope you enjoy the story!

PS:To all Alice or Alice/Jasper fans.  
I'm really sorry that Alice can't appear in this at all, but it just would make the whole story impossible. Thanks for your understanding.


	2. Chapter 2

_Daybreak. Part 2_

Harper's hand was cold, but in effect still much warmer than mine. As far as I was concerned the movie didn't ever need to end. Partly this was because I knew that Edward wouldn't be thrilled about this development. He would never admit it but Harper's mysterious powers scared him. The other reason was that part of me was very much aware of the fact that this step had been too daring. I didn't want to push her, on the contrary, but on the other hand _"A bit of quiet recognition and no hate"_ wouldn't do for me. It was selfish, I know, but I desperately wanted her to know how I felt.  
Yet time was relentless. Romeo drank the poison, then Juliet awoke and stabbed herself. The screen faded to black on the last words. Almost simultaneously the teachers turned the lights back on and the students began to pile out of the room. My brother shot me a glare as he passed. I rolled my eyes at him. "Next lesson." I snarled the words in my mind. Bella gave us a puzzled, yet sympathetic look. She got along quite well with Harper.  
After a ridiculously short time span Harper and I were the only ones left in the room. She hadn't looked at me as to yet. I was surprised to find her crying. Well, it wasn't the whimsical girlish kind of romance movie wailing that some of the others had displayed. There were not even actual tears falling, but her eyes were wet and a bit reddened. She seemed undecided as to what she should say or do, so I made the beginning: "You know what we are." I stated matter-of-factly. "I understand if that bothers…"  
"That's not the issue!" she interrupted me. "Well, it kind of is, but not in any way you might think." This puzzled me. I could not make any sense of it. When I was just about to ask her to explain it I happened to look on our still entwined hands. On her wrist there was a very distinctive scar, crescent shaped, the same kind that James had left on Bella's palm and that my arms and torso were covered with. Tentatively I traced it with my finger, cringing inwardly at the thought that someone had hurt her.  
"Seems like Edward and I aren't the first of our kind you have encountered." I whispered, "Will you tell me the story?" Harper nodded weakly, then shook her head as if to shake off something.  
"Maybe another time."  
"You know I'd never hurt you."  
"I know you wouldn't. You can't." she replied with a weary smile, her index finger resting just opposite from mine on the other side of the scar. "Apparently my blood tastes quite repulsive."  
Gingerly she wound her hand out of my grasp. "I have to go to PE now." She said with one scrutinizing look at me. "Are you alright?" the question seemed slightly out of context, but apart from getting the mitten I was okay, so I nodded. Harper sighed as she left the room. In the doorframe she turned around.  
"Next time you don't have to sit on that tiny window sill. Just make sure nobody sees you."  
I must admit that I was dumbstruck by this. This girl really never ceased to amaze me.  
I took so long with my ponderings that I actually was late for music. Edward was already waiting impatiently to grill me. I felt his apprehension radiating like a camp fire from the direction of practice room number 2. Sighing I grabbed a guitar and trudged there. Why couldn't he just be a bit more obliging?

* * *

My entire body ached insanely. For the whole length of the PE lesson Mike and Jessica had relentlessly chased me across the tennis field, while my assigned partner Eric had enough to do battling his phobia of little, furry, yellow balls coming after him. After eating and showering I fell on my bed like someone had just shot me from behind. Relieved to feel the pain ease a little I sighed deeply and buried my face in the pillows. This day had been both physically and mentally exhausting. I thought of Jasper, _my_ Jasper, his sweet smile that made his eyes sparkle and his gentle voice with the faded southern twang. I wondered how old he might be. Of the three I had met Dr. Cullen definitely seemed to be the oldest and just guessing I'd say Edward was the youngest. I could sense such ratios, but never concrete numbers. Jasper might be some centuries old already.  
He had seemed okay, even after being in direct contact with my skin for a rather long time – at least a lot longer than Iowa – so maybe …  
Perhaps there was a chance that it didn't affect him. If I ever prayed for anything then that would have to be it.  
As if on cue there came a light rapping from my window. I flinched trying to get up. When it didn't work I sighed again and called out, my voice being almost completely muffled by the pillows.  
"Come in – can't move."  
I felt a slight breeze when the window was opened and his slightly puzzled gaze on my back. With a groan and a string of curses directed at Mike, Jessica and tennis I turned around until I was facing Jasper.  
"Oh goodness, so that really was you outside last time."  
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to invade your privacy." He apologized. If he had been human he would surely have blushed.  
"It's alright. How else would you have figured out that I knew about you guys? At least I'm not going completely insane." Now it was my turn to apologize. "I'm so sorry for cutting you off like that after English." I gave him another close scrutiny. He still didn't seem to be afflicted with anything. But having only one precedence I couldn't be sure of anything.  
"It's okay. I suppose I threw you off your guard a bit."  
"Indeed. Oh good grief, I'm a horrible hostess. Please take a seat." Clueless I looked around my room, only to find that there were still boxes waiting to be unpacked and that the only possibility to sit was next to me on the bed. Hoping that it would not come off to awkward I patted the spot next to me and sat up Indian style. He settled between the pillows and looked at me expectantly. I knew I owed him many answers. My only problem was that I didn't know if I could give them. I didn't want him to think I was a monstrosity.  
Jasper must have sensed my apprehension, for he lightly caressed my cheek with his wonderfully cooling hand.  
"You better not touch me." I begged in a tone that betrayed my words. Yet I couldn't trust the peace. What if it just took longer than in Iowa? I would lose him through my own fault and that would be more than I could bear.  
Mustering all my courage I straightened up and looked him firmly in his enchanting golden eyes.  
"I want you to know that I only do this because I care an awful lot about you. As much as I wish to we can't be together, because I could quite possibly kill you and your entire family, and I don't even have any influence over it."  
Jasper pondered my statement for a moment, his brows furrowed. He looked so forlorn that I would have rather hugged and comforted him then just sit there. "I'm sorry," I said while tugging at my sleeve, "It's for your own safety."  
"Is that part of your special abilities?" he asked in a voice completely devoid of any emotion.  
"Partly, yes." I affirmed.  
"So it's only because you have these powers and I'm a vampire and nothing else?"  
"Yes." I felt a new wave of tears welling up. "It's quite a dilemma, isn't it?"  
"Indeed." He agreed. "Especially since it's something we can't just overcome."  
"You say it." I sadly stated. Suddenly I felt absolutely done for, like I had just been run over by something extremely heavy. I was so exhausted that I could easily sleep a full week through.  
"Will you tell me more about it?" he asked, but his voice already seemed far away while I was struggling to keep my eyes open.  
"Not today." I weakly replied. "Sorry…" my voice trailed off.  
"You're tired. I'll go now. See you tomorrow."  
"But tomorrow is Saturday." I remarked. "No school on the weekends."  
"I know," he said, "But if you allow it I'll take you out tomorrow night."  
"Did you even listen to what I just explained?" I exclaimed, suddenly a bit livelier.  
"I did. You said no direct skin contact?" he looked at me with a look of such longing that my skin began to tingle all over.  
"Exactly." I confirmed his question.  
"I think we can manage that." Jasper said while giving me a most winning smile. How could I resist there?  
"Okay." I whispered, and barely audible added "I love you."  
He was already at the window when the words left my lips. Nevertheless he turned around and made my poor heart flutter in replying: "And I love you, Harper."  
The next instant he was gone. If it weren't for the cold breeze coming in from the window one would have thought the whole encounter had just happened inside my head. Groaning I got up, shut the window and got settled in my lovely, warm, wide, cozy bed where I was comfortingly enveloped by his lingering scent. "We're having a date!" I happily thought. Maybe it would all turn out well. Hope dies last after all. With this I yawned heartily and went out like a light.

* * *

Excitement rushed through me as I ran home. Edward could be as grumpy as he wanted; I was taking Harper out tomorrow night. Also I think that I can understand my brother much better now. Just to make sure of every possibility I caught a deer on my way home. Tofu really wasn't all that bad once you got used to it, even for a hard core steak lover.  
Approaching our house I felt a growing apprehension and something more uncertain. The closest equivalent might be resentment. Due to my improved senses I also heard a particular song being played. It was "Blood" by My Chemical Romance. I don't like that piece of music at all. It mocks me to an extent that is more than I can take. It made clear to me that my whole existence was an abomination from nature and that I was basically a weak and undisciplined monster. That very moment the thought of shoving the damn CD down my brother's throat became very appealing. As far as I was concerned Edward was behaving impossibly. He neither accepted Harper as a person nor the fact that I love her. I was incredibly pissed and not planning to hide that. It was the time for some clear words.  
Furious I banged on his door, nearly breaking it into pieces in the process. Before even giving him the chance to invite me inside I burst in and yelled at him.  
"What the hell is your problem?" he just looked at me coolly. Those were merely delaying tactics on his side. I wasn't gonna be put off by this.  
"Don't even say anything. I think I know already. She freaks you out. Not being able to read someone's mind deprives you of your precious control over things, doesn't it?" Gotcha.  
"That's not …the issue." He replied, already getting more agitated. Apparently my mood was rubbing off on him.  
"What is it then, Edward? What is it that turns you into a giant a – "  
"She will bring us nothing but trouble." Now he was yelling, too.  
"Do you truly believe that?" I had stopped yelling for now. My voice came out as a low and threatening growl instead. Edward was getting really worked up.  
"That girl is not good for you! Do you even realize that? She's stealing you away from where you belong! She's changing you, Jasper!"  
"Oh Edward, look in the mirror. Do you even know what you were like after meeting Bella for the first time? You were absolutely impossible to be with during these weeks."  
"Don't you dare compare my Bella with that wolf girl!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. This pushed me over the edge. It's most ironic to realize that you can control the emotions of virtually every person around you but not your own. At least now I knew his main worry.  
"The bloody wolves would never hurt your Bella. There's absolutely nothing to be concerned about on that front. When will it get settled in your brain?"  
"It's not just about Bella, Jasper. Any association with that girl is a threat to our whole family! You're placing us all in danger if you insist on meeting her!"  
The next thing he knew was a forceful right hook being placed on his jaw. Emmett would have been genuinely proud at the quality of it. Within a matter of seconds my brother and I were engaged in a fierce fist fight. In a distant corner of my mind I thought that this was probably the best proof of his words. Dear Lord, I was having a fight with my own brother and it didn't really matter that we weren't related by blood. There we were, fighting about a girl and that not even in the usual way. Perhaps he did have a point, but I quickly pushed that thought far away and concentrated on not having my face smashed into the floor. I was taller and a tad stronger, but he was faster than all of us. We both struggled hard. Edward had no right to interfere with my life and my love in that way.  
Alarmed by the commotion Esme and Carlisle had made their way up to the scene. Unsuspectedly forceful for such a frail woman Esme pulled me away while Carlisle tried to restrain Edward. The rage about his being so unfair was what eventually helped me to pin him on the floor.  
"What is happening here?" he demanded to know in a firm voice. With the whole maturity of our 100 and 160 years respectively Edward cried "He started it!" while I claimed that he had provoked me. Our parents were clearly in shock about our outrageous behavior. It hurt to feel their disappointment. In hindsight we both felt ashamed for losing our temper like that. Still I found my point was justified. Plus I wasn't going to give up on Harper just because Edward wasn't too fond of her. What does he know about her? Not a bit.

* * *

Waking up I felt every muscle in my body with excruciating certainty, even the ones I hadn't been previously aware of. I muttered a long string of curses that were worth at least 30 years in purgatory, provided by friendly courtesy of Jacob Black, and directed at everyone I could even just loosely associate with tennis. After wishing the plague upon Mike, Jessica, Eric, the PE teacher, the people from the department of education, the inventors of the ball in general and the inventors of tennis in particular I forced myself up and into the bathroom. Usually I'm not a vindictive person, but agonizing and unnecessary pain tends to make me grumpy.  
The thought of tonight however made me see the world in much friendlier colors again. I entered the kitchen with a sheepish grin plastered on my face, told my parents that I was going out in the evening and was asked who the lucky one was and if they were going to meet him soon. I was too happy to be annoyed, but nevertheless left it at a vague "You're gonna like him." And nothing more could be gotten out of me until he arrived. Until night there still were a few hours to endure, so first I spent some time out in the woods with my sister. The weather was just right: cloudy but, for now, dry while the moisture of last night's rain still lingered and cast some light reflections here and there. The day was lovely, especially as I got to spend it with Ember. She has this talent of making all your worries disappear and just fully live in the present. Nevertheless the woods also reminded me of my dear cousins and the rest of the wolf pack. I was still mad at them for so stubbornly sticking to their position and I didn't plan on forgiving Jacob for calling me a traitor either, but on the other hand my missing their company prevailed over that. I decided to give the Clearwaters a call after we returned home. Also the two of us ran into Bella and Edward, who were taking a walk together. As if on cue they were arguing about the wolves as well. Although arguing might be the wrong word, for it was not that aggressive. Let's say they were debating the matter when our paths crossed. Bella and I had become something I might be inclined to call friends, so she gave us a welcoming smile as soon as we appeared. Edward in turn didn't seem too thrilled. I could only guess as to the reasons for this. Maybe he somehow felt the danger I posed for his family. Or perhaps it was simply my imagination running wild with me. He behaved civil after all, just not too warmly and this was probably what put me off. I got the impression that he didn't like me for some reason. Maybe he found that I wasn't good enough for his brother…

When the sun began to set Ember and I returned home. I picked up the phone and dialed the number of the Clearwater household, nervously anticipating the clicking noise that would indicate the beginning of a conversation that I at the same time dreaded and needed. I grew more nervous as ring after ring passed by without anyone answering. I tried to remember if they had number ID and just wouldn't pick up if there was the chance that I was at the other end of the line. When eventually my call received some attendance I nearly jumped out of my skin.  
"Aunty Sue!" I hastily replied upon the greeting of Leah's and Seth's mother  
"Yes, my dear. What is the matter?" she calmly said. Her voice hardly ever failed to relax me.  
"I, well, I wanted to speak with Leah and Seth, if they're home that is." I stuttered.  
Uncomfortable silence at the other end. I took an educated guess.  
"Leah is still mad at me, isn't she?"  
"Well, Harper dear, you know how she is. First she made a pile of all your letters and the photos, made a nice big fire, tossed everything in and it didn't take ten seconds until she was frantically gathering everything out again."  
"Will you tell her I called though?"  
"I will, but I can't promise you anything."  
"Thank you, Aunty Sue. What about Seth? Would he talk with me?"  
After we had moved here our two cousins would visit us almost every second day or we would visit them in La Push. I missed them more than I could say and that counted even more so for Ember. Seth at least didn't hold his grudges forever. In fact they hardly lasted until the next day and he had already called to apologize after all. Now Sue became very hesitant.  
"Well, dear, that's kind of complicated. He asked me not to tell you, because he knew it would really upset you." This puzzled me.  
"Why would what upset me? Please stop being so cryptic, Sue."  
"It's just that about this certain issue you are always very sensitive, not to mention overprotective, and he's kind of _scared _of your reaction."  
"How so? He knows he's got nothing to fear from me." The thought of a huge wolf Seth shuddering in panic before me was bewildering to say the least.  
"Well, dear…oh Harper dear…" my aunt stuttered.  
"Sue, I want to know what the matter is. Get Seth on the phone if you have to but I won't give up until I get an answer." I could be _very_ persistent if I really want something.  
"Seth is not here at the moment. He's patrolling the northern woods with Jacob, Quil and Embry." She explained evasively. I felt that she desperately wanted to tell me what this was all about, but on the other hand was kept by her loyalty towards her son. My cruel and utterly curious streak came through and so I kept pushing her further.  
"I want to know what this is about. I mean it. I'll come over personally if it's necessary."  
"Well…"  
"I'm listening."

Silence.

"You have my undivided attention." I urged.  
"It seems that…"  
"Yes?"  
"Seth has imprinted on Ember!"  
"**WHAT???"** that particular moment I didn't care a tad about the fact that probably every neighbor in a three-mile-radius could take part in my outburst.  
"Dear, please calm down."  
"How could I? She's ONLY SIX YEARS OLD!!!"  
"You're overreacting. It's not like he can do anything about it after all. And you needn't worry about anything either. He's going to be the best possible big brother for her until she's old enough." I knew all this, but reason wasn't the dominant influence right now.  
"Still…he will be turning sixteen soon. It just doesn't seem right." I objected.  
"No, no more Harper. You are fully aware of how this works. You know they're meant for each other. You can't interfere with true love!" she insisted. Especially the last sentence was what eventually got to me. Wasn't that exactly my problem and biggest hope? I promised not to judge Seth and be sensible about this. Sue promised to tell Leah and Seth that I had called and talk some sense into her daughter.

In the meantime it had turned dark outside. I had no idea when Jasper would arrive or where he would take me, so I had considerable difficulties in choosing a suitable wardrobe. It was early November now and thus fairly wet and cold outside. I didn't know in how far to dress up. Being over- or underdressed for whatever Jasper had in store for me would be a total nightmare. Eventually I chose my nicest tight-fitted jeans together with a light blue dress shirt and an elegant jersey.  
Coming down the stairs I found my parents glued to the front window like children. I rolled my eyes and tried to push back the upcoming embarrassment. Upon noticing me my dad whistled approvingly while mum amusedly remarked "I hope that boy is worth it.", which I assured. I undertook a futile attempt to still my beating heart while my parents had their full attention focused on the road in front of our house. It seemed like an eternity until we heard an engine revving. My father emitted what I would identify as a squeal of delight.  
"Now that's a nice car!" he remarked approvingly.  
When Jasper entered our house however it was my turn to squeal. Not only did he look gorgeous, even more so than usual, but he presented me with a gigantic bunch of the most beautiful array of flowers in warm reds, oranges and yellows. Needless to say that his manners were above reproach and duly impressed my parents. After a few semi-humorous remarks from mainly my dad, all of which expressed something along the lines of "Take good care of her." or "We put all our trust in you, young man.", we were finally able to get started.

* * *

so, this is part 2, which I finished this weekend instead of doing my maths homework. hope you enjoy, tell me if yes!


	3. Chapter 3

_Part 3_

"Wow, that's a nice car indeed!" Harper remarked as I held open the door of my red Mustang for her. She looked gorgeous tonight with her long silky hair and the softly glowing skin. It seemed as if she was radiating from within and it suited her very well. I had spent almost the entire day to come up with something that was as special as her and that she'd never be able to forget.  
As soon as we were out of Forks I grossly ignored the speed limit and forced the Mustang to its limits. With amusement I noticed that Harper seemed to have a whole plethora of questions burning on her lips, yet didn't quite know to begin without turning the situation awkward.  
"Firstly: No, I won't tell you where we're going. You'll have to wait until we get there. Apart from that you're welcome to ask anything you like." I remarked with a smirk.  
"Damn, I was hoping to employ some very clever psychological trick in order to get that piece of information."  
"Tough luck."  
"Ah well, I think I'll survive." We both chuckled lightly. After a short moment of silence she turned to me with a more serious expression.  
"How old are you exactly?"  
"Barely twenty." She gave me a look.  
"And chronologically?"  
"Born 1843. Died 1863. Damned from then on." I tried to keep my voice as neutral as possible. Amazing how any situation can shift completely within a matter of split seconds.  
"I'm sorry for bringing that up." She solemnly stated.  
"It's alright. Actually I wanted to say: Damned from then on – until now." At this she blushed and it didn't affect me except that it made her look irresistibly cute. A very human reaction, she was doing me good.  
"So, the 1860s…" she tried to diffuse the previous awkwardness, "did you experience much of the Civil war?" A tiny, insignificant question, one would think. I never used to talk about it much. It had been hard enough to recount my tale to Carlisle. But now it was different. Maybe it was part of Harper's special talents that I felt absolutely no inhibitions this time. Her presence somehow calmed me down - quite ironic considering that this was my designated role - and managed to clear my mind. She had put her hand on my arm reassuringly, always making sure that there was at least one layer of fabric between our skins, and I spoke freely of everything I remembered.

I had been so idealistic at first, wanting to defend my home…

Once again I found it close to impossible to put her into words. She had this way of listening that was … unaccusing, not judgmental, like one would probably want their therapist to listen. She was neither pushing me to anything, nor did she seem shocked at any of my reported atrocities. She just took it in and accepted it as a given fact that could not be changed. Very stoic and mature; I admired her for that.

My story, or rather what I remembered, took almost the whole ride. From where I parked the car there was still a considerable way to go to the spot I had chosen. I felt giddy and most anxious if she would like it.  
"Are we there yet?" she demanded to know, imitating the high-pitched voice of a nosy child.  
"Not quite," I answered, "You're going to have to close your eyes now."  
"Oh, a surprise! I love surprises!" she happily exclaimed before complying. After making sure the back pack, which contained a few things we might need, was secured I swiftly scooped her up in my arms and started running. She let out a little yelp, of surprise rather than fear, and tightly clung to my neck. Even though Harper was some inches taller and more athletic than Bella she hardly seemed to weigh much more. Her skin and hair smelt of her magnolia-scented soap and nothing more.  
After some twenty minutes we reached the spot where I intended our date to take place. It was a nice clearing in the middle of the woods, with a waterfall, a little silvery lake at its bottom, and a stream running from it. The sky was uncommonly clear tonight and a large full moon shone, bathing the scenery in soft ethereal light. Gently I set her down on the thick grass. Her knees didn't quite seem to support her weight. They were probably a bit wobbly from my run. So she continued to hold onto my neck, her eyes still squeezed shut. I wrapped my arms around her slender waist, so she would not fall. Admittedly, it felt good just to stand there and hold her. Contrary to all other humans her body heat warmed me instead of tempting me.  
Gently I turned her around so that she would face the clearing and whispered in her ear to open her eyes now. As she took in the entire scenery her lips formed a perfect `Ò´ and she was speechless for a moment. In awe, she leant against me.  
"It's … beautiful…" she stammered.  
"So you like it?"  
"Oh Jasper, it's perfect!"  
I sensed her body temperature decreasing in the chilly night air, so I quickly ignited the camp fire I had assembled earlier this day when I had sought out the place. After also setting up a warm blanket on the ground and a battery radio we got settled close to the fire. Time seemed to stand still and fly by at the same time. I realized that I hadn't been this relaxed in well over a century. For one there was no one else around whose blood could tempt or whose emotions would distract me. Although having these powers had its advantages it also meant that either which way I was prone to perceive only a contorted reality. It didn't matter whether I'd manipulate the feelings of the people around me or not, I'd never be alone in my mind. Now was different. This place was so remote that hardly any people ever came here. Harper's emotions too were closed off from my perception. In effect I had my mind all to myself and that was what relaxed me. If Edward could only understand why I needed her so badly. She helped me understand him too, after all. Everyone's thought were always engaged in an irate struggle inside his head, the same way that everyone's emotions worked within me; everyone's except Bella's. It's really quite hard to explain, because it's a loss of control on the one hand and a gain of the same on the other. You lose control over your surroundings, but in the same instant helps you to gain control of yourself.

Over a completely random plethora of subjects we somehow came to the subject of names and their meanings. She asked me whether I knew what my name meant, which I negated.  
"It's actually taken from the Bible. He was one of the three kings who came to Bethlehem." She explained while resting her head on my shoulder. We had slowly but steadily been inching closer towards each other during the evening. "In old Persian it means about as much as `treasurer´."  
"So what does Harper mean then?" I asked.  
"Oh, that's pretty obvious and quite ordinary, too. It just describes the occupation or ability to play the harp. Nothing special really." She waved it aside dismissively. "My mum named me after Harper Lee, the novelist."  
The radio, which up until now had only softly provided some quiet background music, played a slow and very beautiful song. Harper jumped up in sudden excitement and turned up the volume a bit, then made the futile attempt to pull me up. I merely blinked at up at her in confusion.  
"Come on, old man. Let's dance!" I found myself slightly dumbfounded by her unpredictability. I took a closer listen to the song which she obviously liked.  
"Heaven can wait?" I asked somewhat incredulous. She just shrugged.  
"I like classic rock. Meat Loaf, Queen, The Who, Led Zeppelin, you name it. Now come on!" she beamed with excitement. How could I resist when she smiled at me like this? Within a matter of split seconds we were slow dancing in a tight embrace. The song soon faded and was followed by a much more upbeat number, but that didn't bother us at all. I was caught up in her eyes, her intriguing dark eyes. They were almost black, not unlike ours when we hadn't fed in a while. Only in the right light it was possible to distinguish the iris from the pupil. Truly, I could easily get lost in her eyes, which were so deep that they seemed like the portals to infinity. For the first time in over one and a half centuries I felt that maybe I wasn't damned after all; for the first time I felt hope. Before I even realized what I was doing I leant in and tenderly placed my lips on hers.

She gasped in shock.

"Jasper!"  
"I'm sorry." I instinctively replied.  
"No, I'm sorry for putting you through this. I'm being reckless with your lives." She said solemnly, her eyes downcast. Yet she made no move to free herself from my arms. I took this as a good sign. How she came to the conviction simply her touch could harm me or indeed any member of my family was still beyond me.  
"I think our kind is about as indestructible as you can get." I tried to reason.  
She snorted bitterly and retorted "Never be too sure." while absentmindedly straightening my crumpled shirt collar. Accusingly eyeing the crescent shaped scar on her wrist she began to speak: "Remember we talked about this earlier? Well, I'm going to tell you the whole story now. You already know my family used to move a lot. When this happened we lived in Iowa and I was about twelve years old. One night - although it wasn't really that late, it was just late fall and the sun set early – I walked home with my best friend Sheila. We had been at another friend's house and only had a few blocks to go. We hadn't realized how dark it actually was outside until we got going. Still, it was a safe, respectable neighborhood. There would be nothing to fear we thought. While making our way through a badly lit alley something shifted in the shadows. Suddenly this gigantic man jumped out at us. He must have been some six feet tall and glowered at my friend and me with a hungry expression on his face. Apart from that he also seemed puzzled for a second. `Two?´ he said and mustered us with his dark red eyes. `Well, all the better. Come here my little beauties.´ I think these words are burned into my brain forever.  
He jumped at Sheila first and pinned her to the ground. It all happened so incredibly fast, but I can still remember the look of absolute terror in her eyes. Out of pure instinct I ran towards them and started hitting the man like a maniac, but it was useless. He didn't even seem to notice at first. When I paused just for a second to catch my breath he grabbed my wrist and bit me. At that time Sheila was already dead. Oh god, there was so much blood, Jasper, such ridiculously large amounts of blood everywhere. And now this thing was hanging on my arm. I could feel his fangs tearing at my wrist. It burned like hell let loose. I tried to yank it away, desperately, but it didn't work. I kicked and screamed and hit him. No chance. When I had already given up any hope of getting out of this alive he started to cringe. He cringed and started to shake violently, going into cramps, downright seizures. He spat out my blood, or more threw up. That's what closest describes it maybe. And he screamed. He screamed like he was being torn apart on some medieval torturing device. It was so horrible, Jasper. It lasted for some twenty minutes maybe, even though it felt like an eternity. Nobody came. I was left all alone with one dead and one dying. Finally he was silent. He didn't move either, but his body was horribly contorted. It didn't even look remotely human anymore. Sheila instead looked almost peaceful, which I found both bewildering and relieving at the same time. I don't exactly recall what happened directly after that. I probably passed out. When I awoke again I was at a hospital. Some weeks after that we moved again, to Virginia this time. Eventually we returned here again. Everything else is history." She sadly concluded. I just wondered how such an encounter didn't traumatize her for life, how she could still manage to be around vampires and not wish our entire kind into the deepest pits of hell, where we surely belonged. Although her voice quivered dangerously she didn't cry.  
"I'm so sorry." I tried to comfort her, though the words seemed empty and faded to meaninglessness.  
"See, that is why. I don't want you to get hurt. You mean too much to me." She glanced up at me.  
"Yes, I do see your point," I said, "but nothing has happened to me yet. From what you told me it seems like a very immediate effect. How can you be sure?"  
"I can't. That's the problem! Therefore we, _I_ have to be as careful as possible. Please try to understand me, Jasper. I can't lose you. I couldn't bear it." She sounded so utterly distressed and upset. A single tear had freed itself and ran down her cheek. I hugged her as tightly as I could without crushing her fragile human body.  
"I understand, Harper. Thank you for telling me all of this." I said while she buried her face in my chest. "You are incredibly brave, you know that?" at this she managed a weak smile. "And…" I started to add while glancing at my watch. "And what?" she asked, already sounding a tiny bit more cheerful again. "And we better get going. It's way past midnight and I don't want you to get grounded because of me."  
"That's hardly going to happen. My parents are cool."

* * *

When we arrived at my house it was almost dawning. I wasn't sure my parents really were _that_ understanding, especially since I have never before exhausted their tolerance in this way. I just hoped neither of them had waited up for me the entire night. With a big hug I said goodbye to Jasper and made my way to the front porch where I had some trouble finding my keys in the dim light. I was truly glad to have gotten that story off my chest though. I hadn't realized how much it had weighed me down before. Now we were on clear terms and I was even more grateful that Jasper had been such a good sport about it. Of course I was fully aware that this was only a provisional arrangement, but I decided not to think about the problems ahead until they were at my doorstep. In fact this `affliction´ of mine and the inhibitions I therefore had to put up between us were rather annoying. I mean, this was the kind of kiss that made one long for continuation. My heart still fluttered when I recalled it. This caught up in my thought I didn't notice the tall figure that had been silently standing in a shady corner and was now approaching me. The first thing I actually saw was a looming shadow from behind me. My heart skipped a beat, not unlike when Jasper had kissed me tonight, although the sentiment was completely different. I froze in mid-movement, knowing fully well that if this was not good a lack of movement wouldn't help me out of it anyway. It was just a reflex.

"Harper?"  
Dear Lord, the voice knew my name. And it sounded oddly familiar.  
"Seth?"  
"Hey, good morning, I…"  
"Good morning? What are you thinking creeping around here in the middle of the bloody night? You almost gave me a freakin' heart attack! For how long have you been here anyway? What in the world were you thinking?!?" after ranting on like this for some minutes, my main complaints being 'what are you doing?' and 'What were you thinking? ´ I had calmed down enough to behave sanely again.  
"You know, you're horribly jumpy considering the crowds you hang around with."  
"Oh you mean those who can turn into gigantic wolves at will?" I snarled, my voice dripping with irony.  
"Well, no offense, but you reek of bloodsuckers." I was getting really fed up now and adding up to that exhaustion kicked in. It was Sunday morning after all. Normally people were either coming back from a night out, like I was, or tucked up in their beds sleeping safe and sound.  
"What do you want?" I wearily asked, and on second thought added: "Does Leah know you're here?" Seth snorted dismissively. "Why should she? I'm not her sidekick."  
"Ah, very wrong my dear cousin. The younger sibling is always the sidekick somehow." I playfully teased him without fully meaning what I said.  
"You called today." He stated, indirectly starting to answer my initial question.  
"I did. Your mum said you were out on patrol though. Why is that? Is there something brewing?"  
"Yes. I wonder you didn't hear about it yet. It was all over the news. Apparently there's this ´serial killer´ on the loose. It actually started some years ago in the east, near the Great Lakes. It's always the same proceeding: seemingly random attacks on girls and women of any age under 45, from all different kinds of backgrounds. It happens after nightfall in dark alleys and there's always an awful lot of bloodshed. The killer has been traveling on erratic routes and now he's active in our area." Seth reported hastily, worry in his eyes.  
"That's horrible, but what has it got to do with the pack?"  
"We don't know all the details, but there's something about this guy, the way he operates, that is definitely not human. We ought to keep a close eye on it. Plus I wanted to make sure you guys were alright here." On this I had to smirk.  
"Sure. And most of all you wanted to see the little one again." At this he blushed and looked down. Caught. I would not let him live this down.  
"I'm sorry. I know it bothers you."  
"Sue told you how I reacted, didn't she? Cut me some slack. She's my baby after all. I'm just a bit overprotective. It's really okay, dear. I fully understand you." I said, still fidgeting with my keys. "Do you want to come in?"  
"No. well, actually I would, but it's way too early. You're probably tired after tonight, but I'd like to come around later if you don't mind." He timidly said. I knew what he actually meant was `assuming you have forgiven me´.  
"No, I don't mind, Seth. In fact I would be glad to have you around again, as will everyone else."

As silently as humanly possible I made my way up the stairs to my room, a mission that was perfidiously threatened by the old creaking floorboards. Somehow I managed to get to my destination without waking anyone. Carefully closing the door behind me I made my way towards the bed while making a short stop at the dresser where I changed into my PJs. That was about half the distance I needed to cover in the almost complete darkness, since the blinds were drawn. On the last few feet I stepped on or stumbled over no less than six stuffed animals, inwardly cursing. For someone so tiny my sister sure managed to take up a lot of space by means of scattering her teddy bears and rabbits and monkeys, puppies, dolls, and what not all over the place. Finally reaching the bed, the hallowed island of salvation for my tired body, I noticed a small yet very distinct bump under my blankets. Smiling, I slipped under the same and arranged myself as comfortably as possible around my sleeping sister.

After a refreshing three-hour power sleep I awoke because I felt something lightly tugging at my hair. I could already guess what, or rather who, was the cause for this and not wanting to get up and out of my warm, cozy bed I recapitulated the previous night. I could not keep a wide grin spreading on my face when I came to think of Jasper and I dancing closely and eventually kissing.  
"Harpie? Are you awake?" my sister piped up and involuntarily pulled a bit too tightly on the strand of hair she was just working on.  
"Ouch. I sure am now, Tiny." I yawned heartily and turned around a bit to face her. She is actually the only one allowed to call me that, a remnant from her toddler years when she couldn't pronounce my name correctly. If anyone else called me that I'd relentlessly go ballistic on them. Well, there is _one_ more person whom I wouldn't mind calling me anything he liked.  
"Seth is coming around today." I announced while getting up and trotting towards the general direction of the bath, which earned me a squeal of delight from Ember. She had been missing him, too. Now she quickly scrambled out of the masses of blankets and pillows that were my bed and ran to audibly wake our pitiable parents. I in the meanwhile risked a look into the mirror to find no less than fourteen plaits scattered all over my hair in a random way. I sighed deeply. At least my sister had been both quiet and gentle. Smoothing out my hair in a vain attempt to make myself look presentable I made my way downstairs to the kitchen in order to face my parents' interrogation about my date. With that survived within only a matter of hours I had Seth help me turn my ordinary queen size bed into a four-poster and set up a few shelves on the walls. As soon as my cousin was out of the door I flopped down on my dramatically improved bed – it only missed the midnight blue curtains I had picked out – grabbed my phone and called Jasper. I had been yearning for the sound of his voice ever since our goodbye. After talking to him for what felt like forever I accidentally glanced at the clock. The shock at the displayed time actually made me drop the phone. Shoot, I'd almost forgotten my last appointment of the day. Since Edward had decided it was time for him to go hunting today I had taken it upon myself to cheer poor Bella up a bit and have a kind of girl's night to ourselves. Since it took me quite some time to get off the phone with Jasper I had to really hurry to make it to the Swan's house in time. Knowing that neither of us fancied the typical chick-flick-nail-painting-hair-cure-and-whatnot-business much anyway I instead grabbed some silly games, some quality DVDs and a wide variety of candy and other treats. Thus equipped took off at breakneck speed on my scooter, hoping that Chief Swan hadn't set up any deputy who had happened to annoy him to catch some traffic regulations violators. Seems like I got away with my berserk speeding though, since I didn't see any light of a radar trap and wasn't being pulled over either. At the exact stroke of our hour of engagement I pulled up into Bella's drive while mentally bracing myself to relentlessly infect a sulking and moody Bella with all the cheerfulness I could possibly muster and I actually had an awful lot of happiness to share after the previous night. Even so, she would be a tough cookie. Anyway, I was in a splendid mood and I wouldn't have anyone feeling wretched in my close vicinity. Tough luck, Lady Paint-It-Black aka Isabella Swan. Grinning like a madwoman I greeted my victim at her front door.  
"Hello there! I'm going to a land where perfectly silly lunacy sparks storms of baseless giggling and I brought you a ticket as well!" I announced while waving the non-existent tickets above my head. She just huffed and stepped aside to let me in.  
"You're insane."  
"You have no idea." I replied while energetically making my way towards the living room when suddenly my foot stepped on ground that wasn't all that stable beneath it and gave way to me landing unceremoniously on my rear end. "Holy bleeding…what the bloody…?" I groaned before examining the object that had so cunningly introduced me to the force of gravity. At home I always suspected something to be scattered across the various floors, mainly toys: stuffed animals, dolls, roller blades, those kinds of things. What had brought me down here was an inconspicuous looking rag. I gave the incredibly ugly thing an angry kick. Bella in the meanwhile was clutching her sides in quiet laughter, an effect which served to appease me.  
"Mission accomplished!" I stated, thrusting my fist up in a comic superhero pose. "I just hope you didn't put that there on purpose, lady." I added with a threatening gesture. In between giggles she answered: "No, it's actually an old present Charlie got from some aunt or great-aunt once. He just dug it up some time ago and decided to pay it the due recognition."  
"Three cheers and a tiger to aunt Suzy, Mildred or whatever. She should be jailed for a complete lack of taste and even more so for torturing her environment with it. This thing looks like it has been mauled by a bear, swallowed and then been thrown up again. Ugh. Seriously, you should call Amnesty International about this. I bet this easily qualifies as perfidious torture." Bella actually looked quite blue in the face by now, still trying to contain her laughter. Figuring that Edward would singlehandedly kill me if I killed off his Bella through severe laughing fits I had her calm down a bit. That being accomplished I herded her to the couch and we set up everything for a nice movie night with tons of sugar and a lot of other unhealthy stuff.

* * *

_Hello there! This chapter was actually really hard to write, because an evil writer's block decided to befall me after the first few lines. right now it's close to five in the morning and i just finished the 3rd part to my satisfaction. I can't sleep because my stuffed nose won't let me. Stupid cold viruses!_

_Anyway, Jenna Blair, one of my kind reviewers, the little kiss is especially for you. I actually didn't plan on this happening so soon, but then it kinda fit in with the story line I have in mind, so this one's for you!_

_What else is there? Oh right, the song I refer to (the one Jasper and Harper dance to) is supposed to be "Heaven can wait" by Meat Loaf. Look it up if you don't know it. It's great!  
Plus, I found another reason why Alice can't be in this: she can see the future. That also means she'd know about all the drama that I intend to take place. I can't allow that to happen, you'll just have to find out by yourselves!_

_Reviews are as always greatly appreciated! Enjoy!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Part 4_

"Soooooo, I hear you weren't at home last night and didn't come back until the crack of dawn." Bella said in a conspirative tone while sticking up her index finger in a very teacher like fashion. Darn, this town really is way too small.  
"Well, you've got a very nosy boyfriend, don't you?" I replied, vainly trying to diffuse the situation with some sarcasm. At least the ice was broken, Bella was smiling and not preoccupied with brooding about the temporary loss of her love. That was worth an awful lot and I was not really certain how much further I'd go to ensure it stayed that way for the duration of the evening.  
"Please don't pester me with questions." I, again in the vain hope to get away with it, urged. No such luck. Bella had shot off her first round of questions just in time with me asking her not to. I sighed and paused the opening credits of _There will be Blood_ and then turned to her with the expression of a martyr.  
"Fine, let's be over and done with it. I want to watch this movie. Tonight."

The first part of the interrogation was relatively painless. Asking her how Edward knew all the gory details she told me that he could read people's thoughts, apparently except for hers and mine. I cringed at that. Inevitably she came to my sensitive spot. Everybody has one, it's really no shame. Why wouldn't I touch Jasper? It's not that I don't want to, obviously. Shit, I'd do close to anything simply to be kissed like that again.  
Being in the motion like that I decided to recount my gory tale to Bella, and if it was just to shut her up. It seemed almost all my previous cheerfulness had gone. She listened intently, biting her lip and gasping at the most horrific parts. When I was finished she gave me a big hug, but then faced me seriously.  
"You do know though that you're probably just being a bit psycho and paranoid, right?"  
Well, wouldn't she if the same thing had happened to her? If she could do what I apparently could? And of course I had to go and fall for the nearest vampire at hand! I forcefully slapped my forehead. Destiny, no misery loves me. Or maybe both do, and they predominantly like to torture me.  
"Maybe you're just more afraid of commitment, Harper." That made me snap. I took off like a rocket and without another word rushed down the hallway. Only in my rage I hadn't paid much attention to the floor. That now came back at me full blast. The only thing to be seen was a flying rag and my legs up in the air before I fell flat on my back, which effectively knocked all the air out off my lungs. At least it distracted me for a moment and helped me to calm down to a reasonable level. Bella looked down at me worriedly as I lay sprawled across her hallway floor.

"Ouch."  
"That's my line." I moaned.  
"But didn't that hurt?"  
"Yes, indeed. What is this death trap still doing here? You're probably the last person on earth who should have this any place in their house. You might break your neck in a freak accident."  
"Listen, I'm sorry for upsetting you. I know that's a very delicate topic for you."  
"Damn right it is. But ah," I sighed, "you shouldn't apologize considering there's the slightest possibility that you may actually have a point. You're just too observant, Bella Swan." I admitted. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done.  
"Really?" she exclaimed.  
"Slightest and most remote possibility, Bella. Don't get all excited." I grumpily replied. She slouched down on the floor beside me and nudged my shoulder, since I had taken to squeezing my eyes shut and covering my face with my arms. I felt the tears coming on as she started explaining all the things in my theory that didn't quite make sense. Hearing it from another's mouth suddenly made it seem a lot more realistic as when my own mind had just tried to appease my panicky nerves. After all the essential parts of the tragedy had happened within a matter of split seconds. There was no way of being sure what had caused that vampire in Iowa to fade. Such reactions take time, sure. It might have been my touch, or my blood, or the combination of both. There was no way to be certain, and I, just being me, had quickly convinced myself of the worst case scenario. Jasper still was okay after all. I was just being overly cautious – and did I mention that I tend to overreact _a lot_ and make everything far more complicated than it actually is? - but in my haunted mind I had failed to see the signs for what they could be. In my blind paranoia I had waited for something to happen, for the catastrophe to strike. Trying hard to detach myself I took a reasonable look at my story and found there was hope if only I searched for it. Bella be blessed. She is so much more intelligent than she gives herself credit for. She's all in all so much better than she thinks herself to be. It seems that everyone carries their own kind of blindness with them.

"I'm such an idiot." I mumbled into my elbow, so quietly that I was sure Bella couldn't possibly have heard. "I'm the biggest idiot in the history of mankind. Just shoot me."  
"Stop it, Harper. There's absolutely no reason for such self-flagellation. Just think about it, okay?" she said gently while I, a somewhat grown up almost 18-year-old, collapsed and started sobbing like a little baby. Even though I was quite preoccupied with my own sorrow it struck me that we had a strange role reversal thing going on this very moment. Bella clearly was more than a little helpless at this outburst and took to tentatively rubbing my arm in a comforting manner. I don't know for how long we sat respectively laid there on the floor, but upon my slowly subsiding tears I had made some important realizations:

1. I had been terribly unfair towards Jasper. Out of unsubstantiated anxiety I had unconsciously pushed him away simply because I had panicked.

2. My theory about my vampire-slaying abilities had perhaps more been of a jumping to conclusions. From an objective point of view and taking all the facts into account it might actually be possible that I had been wrong about the functioning of my powers.

3. Still, it couldn't be easily dismissed what I could cause. Never trust the peace. It may not be my touch that was the reason, but nevertheless I remained something of a ticking time bomb.

4. Most importantly: I wasn't just _in love _with Jasper. I really, and I mean really, _really, __**really**_, loved Jasper.

I waved a good part of my sanity goodbye as it walked out the door when Bella's voice woke me up from my ponderings.  
"Are you alright, Harper? You have been lying there absolutely motionless for more than half an hour." I had? Oh dear. Never mind, I knew exactly what I had to do now. I sat up and faced my somewhat lifesaver.  
"Bella, would you mind an awful lot if I left you alone now? I have some important business to do. I need to clear this issue out now, while I still believe in it. Thank you so much for your help!" with that I gave her a bone crunching hug and headed for my Vespa.  
I was all set and ready to go and save my relationship before it had even properly begun. There was just one last problem. I turned around to a grinning Bella who was standing in the doorframe. She must have guessed the question in my eyes, because she simply motioned down the road to my left and gave me a few further instructions about how to find the Cullen's house.  
"You're the best!" I yelled into her general direction upon taking off. "Thank you so much for showing me the way!" I added and didn't refer to the directions only.

* * *

I was just enjoying the chilly air of an evening in December when I heard the humming noise of a vehicle in some miles distance, but unmistakably coming closer. Wondering who could be passing through this lonesome area at this hour I jumped out of my open window and onto the front porch. I couldn't pick up any other smell than the petrol of what I thought couldn't be a car. My military education kicked in, so I took cover and listened intently. Whoever it was came closer at breakneck speed. When the headlights could be seen I silently melted into the shadows. Finally the figure had approached our house, carelessly let her scooter fall to the ground and froze scanning the premises. I heard her distinct heartbeat and saw her unique graceful movements. Impossible.  
"Harper?" I asked in disbelief and stepped out of the shadows. She jumped at least a mile high.  
"Dammit, don't do that!" she said, looking and sounding utterly distressed.  
"You know, you're incredibly jumpy considering the crowds…"  
"…I hang around with?" even if it was for an unknown reason at least that comment made her smirk. "You're already the second person today telling me this."  
I stepped a bit closer and found myself worried upon noticing that she had been crying. She bit her lip nervously and looked pained, as if a whole barrage of words had built up inside her but her lips were sealed. For a moment I was afraid she might burst.  
"What is it, darling?" I asked upon which she flung herself into my arms.  
"I'm the biggest idiot ever! I'm pathetic and troubled and selfish and stupid and …"  
"And above all the best that has ever happened to me." I said, trying to break this disturbing train of thoughts of hers. I cupped her cheeks with my hands so she would have to look me in the eyes. I wanted her to know that I absolutely meant that. Strangely enough she didn't object to my icy hands in direct contact with her heated face. On the verge of tears she recounted her conversation with Bella.  
"I'm so sorry, Jasper. I'm an unfair, paranoid and issue-stricken psycho. You deserve better." She sadly concluded.  
"Nonsense." I voiced my thoughts on her harsh self-evaluation. "Now stop being so silly. I need you. You have no idea how much." I begged she would believe me. It was nothing but the truth.  
"Just promise me one thing: if I ever, no matter for what reason, start to bleed just run away as far as you can, okay?"  
I vowed to do so, knowing fully well that `as far away as I could´ would hardly be more than a few inches. I could not possibly stand her getting hurt and do nothing. Whoever dared to commit such a crime was as good as stone dead as far as I was concerned. At last she had calmed down enough to not be shaking so violently anymore. I found myself unable to refuse her anything. Whatever she asked I would try.  
"Jasper, kiss me." She demanded in a firm voice. That was more like the Harper I knew. It actually caused me physical suffering to see her in a pile of misery like she had been just up until now. Happily I complied.

Tentatively I pulled her closer. She snaked her slender arms around my shoulders pulling me down a bit. Our faces were mere heartbeats away and her heated breath tickled my skin. Her heart rate had picked up rapidly and I felt her knees were giving way so I embraced her more tightly. Gingerly I ran my thumb along her jaw line before tracing the shape of her perfect lips, savoring the built-up anticipation to the fullest while every fiber in my body yearned for her. Impatiently Harper ran her hands through my hair and stood on tiptoes. When neither of us could take it anymore our lips grazed tenderly. The memory of yesterday flashed through my mind briefly, but this was just so much better already. Leaning in further I made full contact with her lips. I felt the pressured blood run through those and her hands, which in the meantime had wandered back to my neck. I had to control myself tremendously so I would not be carried away to do something thoughtless. She's still human, so fragile, and so breakable. One wrong movement and I might crush her lithe frame.  
Eventually she needed to breathe. Unwillingly we broke our kiss. She was flustered and looked adorable to no end.  
"I love you, Jasper." She breathlessly whispered and it would have made my heart jump had it still been beating.

Despite a rather rocky start the time that followed actually turned out to be the best in my life. I didn't spend much time at home however. Edward's constant sulking gave me something like a migraine and made me cranky. There was still bad blood between us. It hurt a lot to not have his approval. It angered me and made everyone around me edgy and aggressive. Edward was so much more to me than just my adopted brother. If someone ever asked me who my best friends were, the ones trusted beyond limits, I would without hesitation name Emmett and Edward. I missed him. I missed both of them, but Emmett and Rose were just physically and geographically removed from us. Edward and I were now being separated by something much more profound. It was tearing away at me and the worst thing was that I still had no clue what his issue was and how to come by it. There was seemingly no solution to this situation, both of us stubbornly persevering and suffering under the tension. If I hadn't had Harper it would have been completely unbearable. She was my positive pole, my daylight, and I still had no clue what I could have possibly done to deserve her love. Then again it must be pointed out that she was, in a way and while being completely innocent at the whole issue, basically the reason for our discord. Yet it was unthinkable that I would give her up. Edward would never give up his Bella either. Fact was we needed to work this out somehow. I just had no idea how.

My days shaped into a new pattern. In the morning I would pick Harper up so she wouldn't have to cross the country's rainiest area on her little Vespa scooter. Most afternoons we spent over at Harper's place, where we were comfortable talking and mostly even more so not talking. In fact, her and I not being the most outgoing type anyway, we were most content just silently enjoying each other's presence. Occasionally I would still catch her scrutinizing me with that suspicious look, as if I was supposed to drop dead at any moment. But first up was always the dread of any student: homework.

"Focus, Jasper." She said with an expression somewhere between annoyance and amusement.  
"I am focused." I countered.  
"On the English assignment, not my lips." She chided.  
"But those are so much more interesting." I complained as I recalled the feeling of her warm soft lips on mine. It made me smile in a presumably rather suggestive way and caused her to blush in a most delicious shade of pink.  
"Well, you can plaster your walls with several graduation diplomas but I only get one shot, and it's due this year, so could you please focus on the task at hand?"  
"That would be a lot easier if you weren't sitting on my lap, effectively driving me crazy." I pointed out. She made a face. "Of course there's the rub." She complained, clearly not wanting to leave her current position.  
"You're insatiable." I teased.  
"No less than you." She played along and planted a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before getting back to work. Well, my dearest, two can play this game. I gave her some spare time before starting to place a trail of small kisses from her jaw line down across the side of her neck, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of her intensifying pulse, and along the length of her collar bone. Her skin practically erupted in goose bumps and she began to tremble.  
"You're impossible!" she scowled and slapped my shoulder playfully.  
"Could you please never stop," she began, then blushed at her Freudian slip, "ahem, I mean stop that for now? There are only three more paragraphs I have to work through here. Goodness, one would think immortality paved the way for patience!"  
"Nope." I commented on her last statement. I could tell she was getting slightly annoyed, so I leaned back a bit and pretended to be bored while I again took to intently admiring her beauty. Darn, she did look especially cute with her reading glasses slid halfway down and her brows furrowed in deep concentration.  
Some fifteen minutes later she demonstratively threw her pen into the corner and happily exclaimed: "Done!" before turning around to me completely, beaming like a supernova.

* * *

Finally I was finished with the bloody homework. Teachers are evil, I'm telling you. They seem to be convinced that no student should have a private life before graduation. Anyway, time for essential things. I engaged Jasper in a passionate kiss while the butterflies in my stomach were having a huge mambo session.  
"So what do we do now?" Jasper asked after I had regained my breath.  
"No idea. What do you have in mind?"  
"Well, I've been meaning to ask you something." He hesitantly began. That was a bad sign, because it meant a sensitive topic was coming up. "It's about tomorrow in a week." My birthday, as I have the doubtful honor of being born just the day before Christmas Eve. "So, what are your plans for then and the holidays?" ah, just what I needed to be reminded of! Fact is that my parents had decided for the entire family to spend the holidays at La Push. Splendid times were awaiting me there, caged in together with a whole pack of werewolves who currently hated my guts. Each day of the past fortnight I had been praying that at no point I would be left alone in the room with them, especially since Sam, the voice of reason, was still away on honeymoon with Emily. Personally I think Hawaii is much overrated, but I may not be the most objective one around to judge that, because basically I was scared shitless. If the pack, especially the three most hot-tempered Jacob, Leah and Paul, were to get me alone I was going to be _so_ screwed. Of course they wouldn't risk harming me physically. How would they explain that to all of our parents? They knew about the wolf thing. Nevertheless my options were bleak. Seth might speak up in my favor, knowing that I as his future sister-in-law could make his life a living hell if only I really wanted to, though I hoped if he found the guts to defend me it would not only be because he feared me. He was like a brother of sorts after all. And even if he didn't take my side I really couldn't be mad at him for that. Being one of the youngest altogether and one of the newest wolves as well meant he was at the bottom of the pecking order. If her dared to help me the others would give him a very hard time for it. Quil and Jared I figured were most likely to follow their designated alpha male for the time being: Jacob. Bad for me. Leaves Embry. He might be inclined to speak in my favor for the sake of family obligations. My mom was actually one eighth Makah and only one sixteenth Quileute, making us closer related to the Calls than the Clearwaters if referring to bloodlines only. On the other hand he was one of Jacob's best friends. Realistically evaluating my chances it stood possibly one for me and certainly six against. Merry Christmas, the celebration of love and hostility. I hated that I even had to make these considerations and lay out plans. It's not the way it's supposed to be. In the widest sense we're family after all. There was a time when we belonged together. That stupid vampire vs. wolf struggle was the root of all misery in this town. I had considered faking at least a terminal illness in order to chicken out of this, but left it at fantasizing due to my bad acting skills, or rather complete lack thereof. As a last resort I had even actively tried to catch myself a nasty flu, but neither standing in the cold wind with my hair still dripping wet nor walking through the snow bare foot had done the job. If anything it's probably even served to strengthen my immune system. There was no way I was gonna get out of this predicament. Bloody Jacob Black! If he couldn't have the one he loved for now (ha, why can't he just leave her be and wait until he has imprinted?) then apparently nobody else was allowed to either.

Also I couldn't voice the full degree of these thoughts to Jasper, because being the protective sweetheart that he is he might very well be inclined to either break the treaty by trespassing on wolf land to save me from their wrath or not let me go there in the first place. That in turn would give them reason to distrust the Cullens even more and raise the tension. No, this was something I had to face, even though it scared the living hell out of me. I hoped that me showing an extensive amount of goodwill towards the pack might aid to appease them a bit.  
Trying very hard not to show my distress I casually outlined my mom's plans for the holidays. We weren't going to leave until afternoon on the 24th, so I asked him to spend my birthday with me. At least it was on the weekend, so no school to bother us or cost us our precious time together.

* * *

"I miss you already." Harper solemnly stated as she told me that she was to spend the holidays in La Push. "But there's really no way to get out of this. Family obligations."  
"It's alright, darling. They're your family after all. I'm sure you will enjoy yourself there." I tried to reassure her, even though I dreaded these upcoming days of separation just as much. And with the wolves! Assuming the most likely fact that they knew of our relationship they would give her an extremely hard time. I hated to let her walk straight into such an explosive situation, but then again there was not much I could do about it. There was also my entire family to be considered. I had a responsibility towards them. Nevertheless I swear that if any of the wolves harmed my Harper then I'd screw the darn treaty and rip out essential parts of their anatomies. They better behave.  
"Ah, family…" we both wistfully sighed. At least I did get the chance to treat her to another date on her birthday, and my plans involved high profile spoiling of my beloved.  
"Speaking of which," she began, still referring to the previous topic, "What's the deal with Edward?"  
Good grief, even if he wasn't even there he still had the power of completely destroying the mood. It's quite a talent, albeit an aggravating one. Not wanting to dwell on the issues I currently had with my brother – I didn't want to risk upsetting Harper again and blame herself - I decided to play dumb.  
"How do you mean?" needless to say that strategy didn't work very well. She was just too bright for such poor maneuvers.  
"You know perfectly well what I mean, Jasper. A blind man could see the tension between the two of you even in the thickest fog. It's palpable. He hardly speaks to any of us at school, never more than what civility commands. In fact he gives you a glare almost every few minutes. There is something going very awry between you and your brother and I want to know the cause! Is it about me?" not only was she incredibly intelligent, but to top it off also perceptive and very well at putting the different facts together quickly. As being evasive hadn't done the job I kept to the truth, or what I knew of it. It was better that way, also considering that Harper always liked to tackle problems when they arose.  
"He thinks you're trouble." I mumbled. "He thinks me getting involved with you will endanger the treaty and put our existence here in jeopardy."  
"I see." She frowned and pierced the floor with a dark look.  
"I'm not giving you up, Harper!" I insisted.  
"I know, my love. What I mean is I see his worries; about Bella, your parents and your life here, that if something grave was to happen you would have to leave Forks and his Bella behind. I think I can understand it, too. I've been worrying about the same things lately. You know, the pack isn't too thrilled about the two of us either. And then there's the story with Jacob and Bella adding up to that inherited conflict. It makes for a rather explosive mixture. I can definitely see his point." She pondered.  
"I am not giving you up, love." I stressed my point once again while hugging her a bit closer protectively. At this she smiled warmly and gave me a tiny peck on the cheek.  
"I know, Jasper. I'm not planning on giving you up anytime soon either, but I do have one thing I want to ask of you concerning this matter."  
"Anything you want."  
"No, don't just agree. Listen to me first, please. I want you to make up with Edward again and put this struggle at peace."  
"Harper, I don't…" I doubtfully began to object.  
"No, hear me out. This is not about me, whether he accepts me or anything. This is about you two and your entire family as a matter of fact. It only gets more difficult with each day the fronts have to harden up. I mean, we have each other, but sometimes that is not enough. Everyone needs a family. You cannot be fixated on only one other person your whole life and block the rest of the world out. It's gotta be love and family at the least. Nobody can stand on one leg alone for long. Just know that I would never willingly make you choose between your family and me and I cannot make that choice either, even though most of them currently despise me. Please, Jasper, family is incredibly important, _your _family is important. Such a fight can easily tear you all apart and leave you without shelter. If not for anything else then do it for my sake, but please try to get along with Edward again." I must correct myself, she is not only smart, she is downright wise. There was a lot of truth in her words and, didn't I suffer from this self-induced predicament already? And so did Edward, Esme, Carlisle, even Bella, as she had quite taken to Harper as a friend. She was absolutely right. Now was the time to act maturely and reconcile before the Cullen household broke apart. I promised Harper to speak with my brother and gave her another deep kiss before I took my leave for the day. There was tricky work afoot now.

* * *

_So, here's the next part, nearing Christmas, just as we are :)_

_To my faithful reviewer NanMcD: No, you're not completely missing the point. I'm sorry it came out so confusing apparently. Actually i had simply wanted to puzzle you guys a bit, keep you interested, have you reflect the characters a bit...well I guess that somewhat backfired, but I tried to compensate for it in this chapter. Hope at least that worked. _

_Anyway, if there's ever a question that you have then don't hesitate to ask. I'm only human, I can make mistakes occasionally. Your feedback, as long as it's constructive, is just so important. Not only does it help me reflect on my writing but it's also highly motivating to get back to work. Who wants to write a story that nobody reads after all? As a matter of fact after receiving NanMcD's review like the first half of this was done within some 2, 2 and a half hours. Keep reviewing, guys! Really! I know better which points to pay attention to, I write and finish faster and you in return get faster updates on the story. It's quite a win-win situation really. _

_Well, that's it for what the author has to say. Stay tuned although I can't guarantee to get the next part up before Christmas. The first two sentences are written down and saved already however. Wait for the drama to unfurl. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Part 5_

The dreaded day had arrived. After spending the best birthday ever with my beloved Jasper I was now sitting on my packed bag and not even my darling sister could manage to cheer me up, and God knows she tried with all her might. I even felt bad for spoiling the festive mood with my brooding, but being put up to a trial without jury was less than appealing. This time tomorrow Jacob and Leah would have gotten my guts for fancy, dressy garters and I was petrified at the prospect of facing them and the whole pack in tow. In order not to turn into a complete nervous wreck I let my thoughts drift back to the previous day. With the snow lying knee-high throughout the entire area outdoor adventures had to fall off the list. I mean I thoroughly enjoy spending my days out in the open, but when your limbs slowly start to turn from blue to black it takes away the fun a bit.

Nevertheless we spent a wonderful evening out together. Then again everything was just wonderful when I was with Jasper. That man just knew how to spoil a girl, how to make her feel special and all that other clichéd stuff, but it's true. There's no denying it. While thinking of this my fingers absentmindedly played with my birthday gift. That had actually been the best part of the date and I recalled every little detail about it. At first Jasper had taken me to a really, no, ridiculously fancy restaurant-bar-nightclub-thing in Seattle. We had dinner. Well, I had dinner, he only pretended to. In fact I cleared his meal off the plate as well (`Are you still eating that, darling? Yeah, silly question, I know, but I haven't had anything proper since breakfast´). Having a six-year-old sister really can make you hungry, especially if she's as energetic and bouncy as mine. Not only do you have to run after the child all day, because you spend your days running after the child you hardly have any chance to eat anything. But I still love her. She's my baby. Plus I used to be exactly the same when I was little. But I'm wandering from the subject. I was perfectly enjoying myself already in the lavish environment, spending some quality alone time with my Jasper, when he presented me with a small rectangular box neatly wrapped in silver paper and with a white bow on top of it. For a moment I was speechless, stunned. I know it sounds extremely retarded but I didn't anticipate anything like that. As far as I was concerned everything was perfect already. I didn't need any cherries to top off my bliss.

He looked at me somewhat tensely. I don't know whether he's aware of that, but whenever he is nervous or tense he instinctively tries to cover it up with a smile, which in effect turns out a little lopsided while he slightly squints his eyes, which in turn are glued to the scene of interest. I find that expression absolutely adorable, by the way. However, with shaking fingers I began to carefully unwrap the gift. After some fumbling I held a little black box in my hand. My heart rate had by now accelerated rapidly, which was also partly due to his comfortably cool hand on my heated skin. Now, with my hands trembling even more than they had before it proved some difficulty to pry off the box's lid, but eventually I succeeded. Coming off it revealed the most pristine silver necklace with a dainty pendant. It was shaped into a tiny treasure chest and a harp while the background was a heart-shape. I was still speechless, or was it again? I can't tell. All I know is I was awed, amazed as I marveled at the sheer meaningfulness of it.

"Do you remember what you told me about names on our first date?" he softly whispered into my ear. Of course I did! How could I ever forget? Whenever I was with Jasper every detail remained in my mind with perfect clarity. Yet all I could do to answer his question was weakly nod my head and blush violently. The next second he was behind me and his cold, careful fingers lightly brushed my neck as he placed the necklace on. Goosebumps as big as the Rocky Mountains followed. Because I could not possibly find words within the English language which were fit to describe what this, and above all what he meant to me I tried to put all these emotions into a kiss, and it turned out quite … well, let's say it was rather fortunate we had our own secluded booth in the restaurant area. Oh, and did I already mention that I love this man? Because I do, insanely. It was that night I realized that I'd much rather walk through hell all by myself than let anything happen to him.

At the moment however the situation couldn't have been more contrary. With only a few minutes left I tried to muster all my courage, attempted self-deceit (`It won't be that bad, surely.´) which failed miserably, and at last resorted to re-program my mind set into a stoic and serene cool-calm-collect-mode. Needless to say that neither method was especially successful. By the time my dad parked the car some thousand tons weighed me down into the seat. I was unable to move, caught like a deer in headlights. It must have been a pitiful sight indeed, although I direly tried to pull myself together.

Nobody came out to greet us except for Sue and Seth and a small part of me was furious that the wolves now cut my entire family dead. They had no beef with my sister or parents, who were but civilians in this stupid war. But then again civilians always bore the worst casualties in warfare. Not good. Not good at all. If there was any chance at all to prevent this brewing tension from breaking out into an open struggle I had to take it, no matter the cost, for the better of all of us, wolves, vampires and humans alike.

"Merry Christmas!" my aunt and cousin beamed at us. In the background I saw the slight movement of the curtains and wished I could just melt into the seat. For the thousandth time today I calculated my chances, which didn't improve much either way I turned the situation. I genuinely hated it. I hated that I had to abuse my relationships and play them out against each other like a game of Poker, but by far the worst thing was that everyone knew how poor my hand was. No chance of bluffing.

Cowardly hiding behind my parents I stepped into the house, only to be greeted by a handful of death glares to the right. I purposely didn't look straight at them. They weren't going to bring me down if I could help it. Glancing around the room instead I noticed Chief Swan engaged in deep conversation with Billy Black, which puzzled me a bit. Quickly I glanced over the open kitchen where most of the women were now crowded, over to Seth and Ember and Quil with the adorable toddler Claire. The two little girls were curiously examining a big grayish fur ball named Quincy the Cat. It was such a peaceful scene, an almost perfect illusion of serenity. A few feet behind them, leaning against the wall and looking even more depressed than ususal, was Bella. Apparently her dad had made the plans and left her no chance out either. Timidly I waved before making my way over to her, not without grabbing two glasses of punch.

"Good Morning, Vietnam." I greeted cynically.  
"Welcome to the Jungle." Bella replied with a sideward glare towards Jacob, Paul and Leah.  
"Here, you look like you could use a drink." I said while handing her one of the glasses.  
"Right on. Let's drown our sorrows in alcohol."  
"I like the way you think. Cheers. Let's make the best of it." With that we both downed our glasses desperately.  
"This is a bloody warzone." Bella darkly assessed after a moment of silence, upon which I added: "Cold war, up until now. If this breaks out it's gonna become nuclear."

I wondered whether she felt the piercing gazes in her back as much as I did. If this wasn't my life I would laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. When did Forks turn into the stage for an epic Greek tragedy again? Because under the current constellation that's where we're all headed. Right now there were some hundred places I'd much rather be. Somewhere nicer, less dangerous would be good. Gaza sounds rather appealing, downtown Baghdad or maybe Darfur. Well, I knew at least one place I'd much, much rather be and the dark-haired and -mooded girl next to me was likely to have a similar wish with her heart's desired vampire respectively.

"Stupid war." Bella mumbled, so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. "Stupid, silly, unnecessary war." I merely nodded in agreement.  
"Switzerland." She said, more to herself than to me. At first I thought the punch had gone to her head already.  
"Pardon?" I asked.  
"Switzerland. We two should declare ourselves to be like Switzerland in this misery. You know, being neutral and all. No, forget it. It's just as silly as the situation itself."  
"What? Wait, no. It's brilliant, Bella. Switzerland, of course…"  
"It won't help anyway." She solemnly stated.  
"It's a chance, Bella. We've got to take every little chance."

Sometime later at the obligatory Christmas dinner: Which sick, sadistic soul placed me next to Leah, across from Paul and Embry and far, far away from the handful of people who didn't hate me right now? Two glasses of punch hadn't helped to calm my nerves significantly. Bella didn't look much happier trapped between a sulking Jacob and her father. Merry Christmas indeed. If there is a just and loving God in heaven he'll let them ignore me for now.

Oh, Leah… There was a time we used to forgive each other's flaws. I put up with her bitterness and cynicism; in turn she didn't mind my weird moods and quirks. For all her misery she directly blames the Cullens. If they hadn't settled here then Sam wouldn't have turned into a wolf. He wouldn't have imprinted on Emily. He would still be with her. She and Seth wouldn't have changed and become members of the pack. Uncle Harry wouldn't have died. They both still blamed the stress of their transformation for his heart attack. Her life would just generally be so much easier. It's not hard to see why she wished the vampires to the ends of the earth. Her heart is still an open wound and a suitable bandage isn't yet in sight. And then I come along and, instead of being there for her turned my back and fraternized with her arch enemies. So far for her point of view.

And the worst thing was that it was so completely unnecessary. If only they weren't so ignorant, so prejudiced, so … utterly frustrating. Why did it have to be so polarized? Why did everyone have to be so darn stubborn?  
They did indeed ignore me completely. My seat might as well have not been there at all. Be careful what you wish for. It might come true. I guess that saying is true as well. The cold anger basically radiated off of the three teenage wolfs next to and across from me. I felt a constant chill, that's how palpable the atmosphere was.

Somehow I survived dinner. My sister had decided that she needed my undivided attention after that and so unconsciously became my shield. No one in their right mind would pick up a fight with me while Ember was so close by, not under the eyes of my parents, unless they were suicidal. But time chases on relentlessly. Way too soon mum and I had to bring the little one to bed. Now I was on my own again. Jacob shot me the 48th glare today, thus taking a lead before Paul with 47, as I aimlessly trailed around the room. He had become such a jerk! To think that I used to have a major crush on that infantile boy just some two or three years ago…inconceivable. Absentmindedly I shook my head, and walked into something, or rather someone very tall and muscular. Crap! I hadn't paid attention and now found myself face to face with Leah, Jared, Embry and Quil. Rashly I looked around, only to find that there was a wall behind me, a sofa to my left and the way I had come from was now taken up by two wolves, both of which were dangerously shuddering from enragement. In short: I was completely trapped.

"Can we talk?" my cousin said, but it sounded more like a command than a question. I couldn't bring my lips to reply, just stood there rooted to the ground, praying someone would notice my predicament and elegantly save me from it. No such luck, of course! How could it? My personal shining knight isn't even allowed to come here, for goodness' sake!  
"Just the two of us. Can we talk? Outside?" Leah asked again, a bit more sincerely.  
"Give me your hand." I demanded in return.  
"Huh?"  
"Your hand. You're not going ballistic on me like last time again and since you can't guarantee to maintain control I will have to. I don't fancy ending up as an unidentifiable heap of flesh and bones." I replied, way more coolly than I felt. She gave me another dirty look, bringing her day's total up to an unreached 63, but then gave in and roughly dragged me out of the room into a small guest bedroom.

For the first few moments it was silent except for the cheerful sounds from next door and our breathing, hers heavy and tense, mine shallow. When she made half a step towards me I reflexively retreated, banged against the bed, stumbled and tugged her along with me. I get clumsy when I'm nervous. Anyhow, my cousin and I lay jumbled up on the floor. She emitted a noise that I couldn't quite identify, because it couldn't possibly be what it sounded like.

"Leah? Are you … chuckling?" I asked incredulously. She just went on, apparently unable or unwilling to reply.  
"Leah?" I said with rising panic as I made some efforts to disentangle our limbs.  
"Oh gosh, you should have seen your face. Sorry, it was just too …" she barely brought out between laughs.  
"Well I'm glad to see you don't hate me badly enough not to be amused by whatever it was yet." I wryly remarked. At least the ice was broken now and that was worth an awful lot already.  
"I don't hate you, Harp." She said, serious again, and sat up. "I don't approve at certain choices you made but I could never hate you."  
"Well, that's a start I guess."  
"Did _he_ give that to you?" she said after a moment of silence, motioning towards the necklace I was nervously playing with again. I nodded yes.  
"It's very pretty." She remarked, truly making an effort. That was a start and made me feel a little stronger already. She didn't hate me now; she only hated the man I so desperately loved. No, that's not right. She didn't hate him personally. She couldn't since she didn't know him. She detested what he was, as seemingly did everyone. A girl could go crazy. It was all so frustrating.  
"You know, I'm convinced it doesn't have to be like this." I began without actually knowing how to go on.  
"Right. If _they_ weren't here none of this would ever have happened." Leah spat out with even more bitterness than I had guessed, especially in the way she pronounced the `they´. I felt tears welling up inside me, but tried to force them back. I didn't want to appear weak when I fought for something so dear. Nevertheless my voice betrayed me. It quivered and eventually broke when I replied: "I just don't want to lose you completely."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, really. I don't want to lose any of you guys. You're like a family and I missed every single one." I said while letting go of Leah's arm, wanting to show her the trust I put in her. As long as my skin was in direct contact with any of the wolves' they couldn't change or would immediately be transformed back into their human shape. Right now there was no risk from Leah.  
"You are sincere, I can tell. You'd never say anything you don't mean." She pensively began and I nodded in order to underline the truth in her words. "Nevertheless you are not going to give up your bloodsucker." She concluded matter-of-factly. Now I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She was right. She was right about everything she had said until now, but that didn't help me at all. I had spent countless hours seeing the whole situation through wolf eyes, and especially through hers. Why couldn't she do the same for me? Why wouldn't she even try to understand? I felt something die inside me and if it didn't die completely then at least it fell into a deep coma. Of all of them Leah was closest to me. If I couldn't even get her to understand then I was pretty much fighting a lost battle here.  
"You wouldn't even consider trying." I solemnly said, yet I was unable to ban the bitter accusation from my voice.  
"I'm sorry. Unless you change your mind I must ask you never to come back here by yourself, for the pack couldn't guarantee your safety in that case. The rest of your family is still welcome and shall not be affected by this … feud. As soon as you come to your senses you may return."

I was speechless. What was this? It sounded like the humiliating conditions following an unconditional surrender. Basically it sent me into exile. And how did anybody who knew my get the ridiculous idea that would keep me from fighting?  
"If you act against this or if any of the vampires break our treaty the wolves of La Push consider this a sufficient reason for open action." She concluded, coldly as if she was merely reciting the lines.  
"You mean war! I'm not allowed to come here again unless I break up with Jasper or you are turning this into an actual war, am I not right?" I burst out, suddenly having regained my voice because of my rising anger. "Did you at least all agree on this plan of action or did Jacob in all his wisdom make the decisions alone?" I sneered, my voice dripping with irony. Where I had found the ability to speak again she seemed to have lost hers. A mere "Jacob thinks…" was all she brought out, yet it was enough to push me over the edge and I couldn't have cared less if anyone outside heard me.

"Jacob doesn't think with his brain, only with his hurt pride! He's just too immature to respect Bella's choice! If he really loved her as much as he says then he would leave her be, especially since he knows perfectly well that anything between him and her could only be temporary. One day he _will_ imprint and then he couldn't do anything about it. He would _have_ to leave her. How can that not be clear to him?" I yelled, venting off my helpless fury, but the last part remained unsaid. It would have been too cruel if I had added _`And off all people you should know that. You're the best example of what would become of Bella then: bitter, cynical and broken beyond repair. Nobody can want that for the one they love.´ _

* * *

This was undoubtedly the worst Christmas I had ever experienced in my entire life span of now 165 years. Rose and Emmett weren't home to diffuse the tension. Instead they enjoyed the holidays in the city of love, Paris. At least they had called, which had provided us with some distraction. But that couldn't be stretched out endlessly.  
Since forcefully separating Edward and me from our brawl Esme and Carlisle hadn't brought up the subject again. If they discussed the matter in private I wouldn't know. Tension was hanging in the air like a suffocating fog. Above all Bella's father had dragged her to La Push for the holidays as well. Edward was not amused. He resorted to sulking which didn't serve to lift my own downcast mood at all. Strange how we were seemingly furthest apart when we could understand each other's situation the best. When I couldn't bear it any longer I made my way to Edward's room, again, and knocked hesitantly.

"Edward?" outside the sun was slowly creeping up in the sky. It was nearing morning. Not that the time mattered much for beings who cannot sleep.  
"Edward?" I asked one more time, slightly more unnerved now. "May I come in? I'd like to have a word with you." Still no response from the other side of the room. Now I began to worry. Carlisle was working the night shift at the hospital, as always around this time of year, since he was the only one without small children or bedridden parents. Esme was god knows where. I couldn't blame her for fleeing two vampiric youths at daggers drawn. But Edward had been here. Since Bella wasn't at her home and the last hunt was just three days ago he had no other place to be.

Suddenly I had a foreboding, not the normal feeling I got when I picked up something with my powers. It involuntarily made me cringe. It was nothing clear or substantial, merely a feeling that someone I cared about was in anguish. It drove me crazy. I didn't know who it was. Carlisle was the only one I had no reason to worry about. He was in a hospital, the oldest and most experienced of us. What could happen to him after all? Virtually nothing. But of the remaining ones I didn't know the whereabouts of two and wasn't allowed to go where the third one was. And even if that didn't bar me from finding them what would I do if I found them? I was helpless. Despair threatened to overpower me for a moment, then I regained my presence of mind enough to gather my senses and search my radar for anything suspicious from my family members. I could detect them through their emotions, no matter what they felt that very moment. It was like a fingerprint. There was only Harper whom I couldn't localize using that method, and I inwardly cursed this circumstance.

Esme was nearest, presumably in the far corner of the garden, which surprised me. I hadn't heard her. That I hadn't been aware of the solemn wave of sadness that emanated from her was due to the fact that I tuned out the emotions of my environment as often as I could in order not to go insane. Edward seemed to be outside, quite far off in the woods, but didn't change his position. He was vigilant, quarreling with his fate and filled with longing. He must be waiting at the border to the wolves' territory until Bella and her dad got back I combined. Carlisle was in the town's hospital, exactly where he was supposed to be, but something was off. Indeed he was all professional and calm, yet also worried. Of course it simply be an emergency who had had a really nasty accident. Then again that had happened before. Carlisle's worry seemed more … personal. _`Bella!´_ was my first thought. If anyone had suffered the worst possible accident chances were usually pretty good that person was her. But Edward remained unshaken. If it really was Bella he would know through the thoughts of basically every person in La Push already. Plus I would be able to feel Chief Swan's emotional state quite distinctly as well as Bella's. I knew them. I could identify their emotional pattern amongst hundreds, that much was certain. There was another presence next to Carlisle that seemed remotely familiar. He or she was in severe worry, they feared for the health of someone they deeply cared about. All of this led me to one conclusion. Someone had just been admitted to Carlisle's care at the hospital, someone whose emotions I couldn't feel with my powers, possibly heavily injured, and it wasn't Bella.

I panicked.

No. _No!_ **NO!!! **

My cell phone rang just as I left the house in a frenzied run. Without slowing down I answered it.

"Jasper?"  
"I'm on my way, Carlisle." I simply stated as I avoided running into trees as well as being seen by unsuspecting humans.  
"Ah, I see. Alright, see you soon." He replied, clearly relieved that I had drawn all conclusions by myself and the role of a bearer of bad news wasn't the one he'd have to fulfill tonight.

Just a few moments later I was standing outside Harper's room at the hospital, shaking with fear even though Carlisle assured me that it wasn't a bad fracture, that she'd only have to stay here for a few days, and that she'd easily be out of the hospital before New Years. Her dad was still in there with her, though she seemed to be resting. Her eyes were closed. I could still feel the worry emanating from him as he looked down at his little girl, who looked so fragile and pale in between the fluffy white pillows. Yet that was nothing against the storm that raged inside of me. Mr Whitlock politely said good-bye as I came in and announced that he would get some things from their house for his daughter. I sat down soundlessly, afraid to reach out and take her hand. She seemed so incredibly breakable all of a sudden. Of course she had been all along. I had merely repressed that fact.

Just a few weeks ago I had gratefully accepted that because of her own abilities she couldn't be changed into a vampire anyway. It had liberated our relationship from the tedious argument whether or not she should be changed before the issue could even really arise. Now I wasn't so sure anymore. Was it really that fortunate this way? I intended to stay by this woman's side until she either sent me away or passed from this earth, but how old would she get? 60? 70? I didn't even dare to think of 80 or 90. This little accident had showed me that Harper could be taken from me virtually any day. Even if not, how long did we have? She was 18 now. All in all we might have no more than half a century. 50 little years, perhaps some more. It may sound like an awfully long time – and for a human it is – but trust me: 50 years are nothing, gone in the blink of an eye. And then? Like Edward I didn't plan to survive the love of my life by much. I could provoke the Volturi or another mighty coven. A life without Harper just didn't seem worth it, damned to become a mere existence, pointless.  
Not that it would change much afterwards. I was pretty sure that vampire's didn't get to enter heaven where my precious angel would surely go.

My head felt heavy so I rested it on the white sheets next to my beloved's slender arm. Carefully I touched her fingertips with mine, relishing the fleeting moment now that I fully grasped its worth. I'm not ashamed to admit that if I could I would probably have cried.

* * *

_Happy New Year 2009 everyone. Hope your holidays were nice. H and J's weren't, as you just read. This chapter was actually incredibly hard to write, and I have no idea why. Just couldn't really get started. Anyway, here you see the result of my hard work. You know I'm always open to constructive criticism. Bring it on! I want it, I need it, I'm glad about it. _

_Okay, enough rambling from the author. Just one more thing: check out my poll which can be found on my profile. Each vote stills my endless curiousity and is really appreciated. Cheers. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Part 6_

"You came." Were the first words that came out of Harper's mouth after some twenty minutes of silence. How good it was to hear her voice again, even though she sounded incredibly tired, as if every word meant hard work. I breathed a deep sigh of relief before saying: "Don't you _ever_ do that again." It came out more harshly than I had intended, which I instantly regretted. Therefore I added an "You had me worried sick." in a softer tone of voice.  
"It's just a broken leg." She groggily replied, her original southern accent becoming more apparent with exhaustion.  
"It's a broken leg now. What will it be next time?" _What will they do to you the next time when I can't be there to protect you?  
_"Jasper, look at me. I'm still in one piece. I had a silly little accident because the ground's completely iced over." Here she paused and took my hand, "Please darling, I'm alright; just feeling a little queasy because your dad drugged me. … Gosh, that last one sounded just plain weird, didn't it?"  
It did indeed, and her speech becoming slurred from the aforementioned painkillers only added to the effect. I took a thorough look at Harper now, as if to assure myself that it would be alright to allow myself to accept her words for now, although I felt she was still withholding facts from me. Her left leg was in a huge, heavy whitish cast. She was dressed in one of these typical hospital gowns, although her slender body was mostly covered by the thin blanket, which was already turning slightly grey due to permanent use. Her naturally olive skin tone seemed oddly washed out, faded like a photograph that had been exposed to the sunlight for too long. It made an impression as if her vitality had been drained from her. Merely her dark hair and deep eyes had remained as intense as always, making for an almost grotesque contrast to her paleness. Yet despite all of this a reassuring smile grazed her full lips and the squeeze she gave my hand was warm and tight; her eyes, despite being half closed, were clear and locked with mine; and all these subtle signs were sufficient to calm me down. Strange enough that she was the only person to have that effect on _me_, while everyone who knew of my abilities always expected me to keep control of _their_ emotions.  
"So, how did this happen anyway?" I asked.  
"I was trying to flee from the karaoke machine. They wanted to make me sing the Best of ABBA! That would have been torturous for everyone involved." She exclaimed with an expression of comical desperation. I couldn't help but laugh quietly as she launched into a detailed description of previous years' Christmas karaoke disasters, most often using expressions such as "Elvis impersonation horror", "off-key", "tone deaf", "alcohol-induced", "ABBA hell", "Dusty Springfield meets Cher", "Beatles fan club reunion", "Hamster dance" and many more of the like. The old lady in the bed across was actually in tears and shaking with silent laughter.

We were still talking, although more quietly now, when Harper's father returned with a bag full of the things he had picked up for her. He was a rather tall, lanky man with dark blonde hair, intelligent green-greyish eyes and a predominant Texan accent who always seemed oddly misplaced in his dark suits. With his warm-heartedness he seemed about the most un-lawyer-like type one could imagine. Whenever I met him I couldn't hold back the impression that he actually belonged on a horseback, riding home to his farm through the Texan sunset. Tom Whitlock was undisputedly a family man and his "three Graces" as he affectionately referred to his wife and daughters were his purpose in life. On the other hand he had something fierce about him behind the friendly exterior, a certain determination that one better treated his girls right or he'd come after them without mercy.  
"I see you're telling all the embarrassing family secrets, sweetie. Don't let your mother know." He smiled conspiratively and gave his daughter a peck on the forehead before settling on the opposite side of her bed. Seeing the two next to each other revealed a striking resemblance, not so much concerning outer appearances, but rather in subtle gestures: the same broad smile, the same crinkle of the nose, the way they furrowed their brows in deep thought down to the way they frowned … it was remarkable.  
"I take it you're okay here for the time being, sugar. I'm gonna go and pick up mum and Ember. We'll all visit you later, in the afternoon. Until then, sweetie, Jasper; have a good one you two. Bye." He calmly announced after some casual small talk. Upon leaving he turned around once more in the doorframe, saying that there was a little surprise for Harper in the bag to kill the time. "You loved it when you were little. See whether you can still get it together."

The old lady from across the room had been wheeled away by a nurse so now we were all alone.  
"You want me to fetch you the bag?" I asked, guessing her intention. "Knowing you I bet you're dying to find out what's in there."  
"About the latter: I have some sort of idea, and concerning the first: yes, of course! You just know me so well, darling." She replied. I was just glad she was in such good spirits after the wolf debacle she had anticipated for the holidays, even if it was partially drug-induced.  
I set the bag next to her on the bed and she quickly opened it and pulled out a big blue hardcover scrapbook. Her eyes lit up noticeably as she laid it on her lap.  
"You know what this is?" she beamed excitedly, "Well, of course not, how could you. Silly me. Gosh, this is so awesome!"  
"What is it then, honey?" I asked, getting slightly curious.  
"Well, my dad has this hobby which is researching the family's history. This is his self-made chronicle of the Whitlock family, featuring everything he could dig up from photographs over newspaper announcements and what have you, plus, of course, a family tree complete 'til back into the late 18th century. I loved looking at this when I was little."  
"Care to elucidate the intricacies to me?"  
"Wouldn't it be boring for you?"  
"I don't see how." I answered while sitting down on the bed next to her so that she could comfortably lean on my shoulder and putting my arm around her waist.  
"Very well then, I hope you don't have anywhere else to be in the near future." She announced, cuddling up to me and opening the book, "Let's embark on a journey backwards in time."

* * *

Cuddled up into the shelter of Jasper's arms I opened the first page of our makeshift family chronicle … and shut it again right away. Darn, I had forgotten _that_ particular picture. The same instant it occurred to me that regarding Jasper's hypersensitive vampire senses my reflex had most likely been completely useless anyway.  
"Changed your mind?" he smirked.  
"Um…" was my exceptionally witty response.  
"That would be a pity, because I'm already genuinely interested." He mock complained and gave me one of those tender kisses that made my knees turn into pudding even though I was lying down and it was merely on the cheek. Fine, if he really loved me he could bear a baby photo of me I supposed and made a second attempt at opening the book.  
The photo wasn't actually that bad. It struck me that my parents still looked pretty much the same as they did nowadays. The only horrid thing was that baby me had been put in a pink (!), ruffled (!!) dress and wore the little hair I had back then up in pigtails with equally obnoxious pink ribbons. Ugh, how revolting! Blood shot into my head, making me blush furiously.  
"I dare you to laugh at this atrocity!" I darkly threatened, feeling the movement of silent chuckling from his body.  
"I'd never be so bold." He answered. "Actually I think it's very cute."  
"Do you really?"  
"Yes, I do. Especially the disgruntled look. How old were you when this was taken?"  
"Something like a year or so, I don't remember that particular day all too clearly." I joked.  
"Adorable." He mumbled into my hair, "Though I do like you a lot better grown up."  
"How so?"  
"Because if you were a baby I couldn't do this." He answered and captured my lips in a deep and passionate kiss that left me breathless.  
"I err …well … ok so …phew … let's get on with this?" I muttered somewhat incoherently. Was it just me or did it get incredibly hot in here all of a sudden?

I skipped a few pages, some of which were filled with more photos and some of which were left blank to be filled by future generations (which I was expected to contribute to in every way *gasp*) and finally came to the hand drawn family tree, or part of it anyway. Since my dad was extremely conscientious he had made it very detailed and so only four generations fit on one page. Dad had written down not only the birthdates of everyone, but also the date of death, the places of both as well as full names, including maiden names and all. Plus every picture, article, certificate or what have you had a caption.

Going backwards in time it started with my parents, Thomas Edmund and Eleanor Fairweather. Once again it occurred to me that most likely no one in this family will ever have been called by their full name. My parents were commonly known as Tom and Ellie, my grandparents had always been Joe and Val instead of Joseph Anthony Thomas and Valerie Whitlock, née Hale. They had actually been cousins, though only by marriage and not by blood relation. Joe's parents had been Simon Carl and Sally, née Read, and Simon's uncle Robert Lawrence had married a widow by the name of Elisabeth Jennings who'd had a daughter named Rebecca, Becky, who in turn married a Mr Henry Hale and became my grandmother Valerie's mother. Now Simon's father, whose name was also Joseph, and his brother Robert had celebrated a double wedding in the year of 1924, Robert's wife being the above mentioned Elisabeth. Joseph's wife, Simon's mother, was Lily Trent. Outlining all these relations, dates, names, etc my head was spinning already and I had only focused on the direct line, leaving out all siblings. With the next page we were back in the 19th century already, _Jasper's century_ as I noted on the side.

The first couple on this page were my great-great-great-grandparents Caroline Mallory and Victor Anthony Whitlock, namely being the parents of Joseph and Robert and married in 1899. Victor had named his sons after his own father, Joseph Robert, while he himself had been named after his grandmother Viktoria and his deceased uncle, who had been a confederate soldier in the civil war as well. For a moment I wondered whether Jasper might have known him. Just when I wanted to explain the previous generation, the last on this page, comprising of Joseph Robert's parents, something caught my eye and I paused in mid-sentence. Jasper said nothing, but I got a feeling as if he was bracing himself for something. As I said before I had mainly left out the siblings in my explanations, but of course I still read over the many names listed in my dad's slim handwriting and there it was, staring me in the face: Joseph Robert's siblings, a younger sister called Isobel Anne, later married to a Mr Vincent Clarence by the way, and the older brother, the soldier in whose memory Victor and many after him had received the same middle name: Anthony. Only that said person's full name was _Jasper_ Anthony Whitlock, born 1843.

Although in some state of shock my thoughts were racing now. I thought I remembered there was a photo belonging to this generation on a later page in the book. Frantically I skimmed through the pages until I found it.  
"Seem familiar?" I barely managed to croak out as I pointed to the old, faded photography. It showed the above mentioned grandmother Viktoria, the caption read, together with her husband John Lawrence Whitlock and their children. The girl, Isobel, was not much older than Ember is now; Joseph Robert a boy barely on the brink of adolescence and the eldest a lean, fair-haired teenager in a confederate uniform. With this kind of evidence there was no mistaking it now that my Jasper, who was sitting here on the bed with me perfectly still, and the young man on the photograph were one and the same person.  
Then again he had told me that he could barely remember his human life. As shocking as this discovery was for me it must have been an awful lot more so for him.  
"I think I even remember that day. It must have been just before I left for the army." He murmured so quietly that I could barely make out the words. "Momma never wanted me to go. I guess she was right after all."  
I swallowed hard. I had to digest this new revelation first before knowing how I felt about it.  
"That's exceedingly awkward." I said, "That means you're actually like my great-great-great-great-great-granduncle."  
"I think that's about far enough for us still to be considered within the confines of decency." He quietly stated.  
"Oh goodness, if my parents ever see this they are so going to freak out. Teenage wolves they can just about handle but … oh god, oh god, oh god!" I panicked. Too many thoughts were rushing through my mind. Jasper's arm around my waist as well as his body against my back stiffened.  
"If this is a problem for you I understand." He solemnly whispered into my ear. My frenzied brain needed endless amounts of time to make the connections now as it was heavily overloaded.  
"What? No! No, that …that is not what I mean. I'll just have to make sure they don't pay too much attention to this." I rambled on. _Focus_, I told myself, _calm down_.  
After managing that I turned my head around so that I could look into Jasper's eyes, his enthralling golden eyes which I could get lost in for eternity.  
"So, your middle name is _Anthony_?" I smirked, putting all emphasis on the last word. I know from experience that many people utterly detest their middle name.  
"Same as Edward's." he replied hesitantly, obviously not quite sure what to make of my latest mood swing. For an answer to this unspoken question I demandingly pulled down his head to my level and kissed him. As an immediate result the smile returned to his face and he relaxed. "You are my past, my present and my future." He murmured so softly I wasn't sure whether I was really supposed to hear it.  
"You are my past, my present and my future." I said lowly, in realization, "My life, my everything."

* * *

It was good to know that my brother and sister had made a life for themselves, and that their families had gone on and prospered. It meant that life goes on somehow, even if your loved ones are being ripped out of it.

Time had passed mostly unnoticed, as it tended to do when we were predominantly occupied with each other. Now it was almost midday. Feeling slightly guilty for keeping her up so long I insisted Harper eat something and rest a little. I ran my fingers through her hair as she did and pensively flicked through the album once more. It was incredible what Tom had been able to dig out. I learned that I had in fact had eight more nieces and nephews. Actually throughout the family that was collected in here there was not a single only child. Apparently the Whitlocks of Texas were prone to big families. It then occurred to me that if Harper was to stay with me for all her life there'd be a break with this tradition. It was one point on the list why I loathed being a vampire. It even was Rosalie's number one point, and secretly Esme's too, not being able to have children. It might not be an issue now, but maybe in five, ten, twenty years. Harper would want children one day, inevitably, and I would not be able to make it happen for her. And I would be lying to say it didn't faze me as well. I was 165 years old after all. I have thought about it, just never as concretely as I did this very moment.

Suddenly the room became suffocatingly small. Harper was sleeping peacefully, didn't even stir as I disentangled my hand from her hair, so I decided it would be alright for me to take a walk. Somehow I ended up in the hospital's nursery section. Figures. O strange workings of the mind! I watched the nurse present dozens of newborn babies to fainting fathers, squealing siblings and delighted families and cursed my fate once more. Inevitably I would make my darling miserable and there was nothing I could do about it.

Downcast I returned to find Harper still sleeping. I briefly wondered whether Edward or Bella had ever spent thought to the dilemma that was now occupying my mind. As if sensing my return Harper began shifting and stirring slightly in her bed before she opened her eyes. The broadest grin was plastered all over her pretty face.  
"Nice dreams?" I assumed.  
"Lovely." She grinned, "And completely improper. Painkillers are messing with my brain I guess."  
"Care to share some details?"  
"Well, wouldn't you like to know? There's no way I'm saying that out loud in public." As a reaction I just put on a mock hurt expression and took a thorough look around the room, planning to reason that we were completely alone and not a bit in public when the door opened and a distinct smell filled the room instantly. Out of pure reflex I rose to my feet and took a stance between Harper's bed and the door, ready to attack the intruder any second.

In stepped a lanky Quileute boy, looking tall for his age, and with an expression that was equally as confused as clearly irritated at the sight of me. He said nothing, just quickly closed the door behind himself. His eyes darted back and forth between Harper and me and his muscles were tensing up. I could hear his accelerating heartbeat and felt the waves of growing aggravation rolling off him.  
"Seth." Harper chimed from behind me. So this was her cousin. He emitted a low growl and continued his hostile staring, though I sensed increasing inhibitions. I felt a small hand at my wrist, tenderly pulling me back. It calmed me instantly, enabling me to use my power in order to calm Seth in turn. I sat back down, attempting to further diffuse the tenseness of the situation. Harper patted the seat on the opposite side of her bed, motioning for Seth to take it.  
"Don't act as if you couldn't have expected to see him here." She warily stated. Seth huffed, but sat down without further comments, insecurely glowering at me. I tried to look sympathetic while at the same time fighting back the urge to yell him all the way to Antarctica. How could he have let it happen that she got hurt? Even if it really was an accident I was sure that at least some of the wolves had been involved, maybe indirectly, in some way or another.

"Gosh, where are my manners. Seth, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is my cousin and future in-law Seth." Harper said, her voice dripping with irony. As if we didn't know. "Well, and you both know me already. So, now that everyone is formally introduced, what is it that brings you here, Seth? Does Jacob have any additions to his stupid ultimatum that your sister failed to inform me about?" she added venomously, taking out all her frustration on her poor cousin, who looked more miserable by the second. I almost felt something like compassion right then. Almost.  
"It's not like we took a democratic vote or something, you know?" Seth replied defiantly.  
"Well, what's he gonna do anyway? Have me arrested for trespassing? And it's not like he can just go and literally kick my ass all the way back into town either. Our parents might be pretty clueless, but they're not morons. Objectively there really is no way he can actually enforce these conditions of his."  
"Gosh, it's the return of the much famed and feared Whitlock-lawyer-gene!" Seth interrupted her rambling with mock despair. Admittedly, the boy did have a funny bone, which is always a great means of breaking the ice in a tense situation.  
"Right. I'm sorry I just went off on you like that. It's just so utterly frustrating. I mean, there's absolutely no point in attempting a reasonable discussion with a crazy person."  
"Never mind, Harp. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you."  
"As much as I'm up for dissing Jacob Black like that; why are you here again, Seth?" I spoke up, which earned me incredulous looks from the other two.  
"Dissing?" my girl chimed amusedly, "Methinks you've spent entirely too much time in the 21st century, honey."

* * *

_Haha, the next installment! finally! starts with angst and fluff, goes into a meaningful revelation, then provides you with some Jasper angst. hope y'all like it, even though this chap is a tiny little bit shorter than the others._

_Enjoy!_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Part 7_**

Harper blushed a delectable shade of pink and muttered something about painkillers and their effect on the brain. Seth raised an eyebrow at our little exchange, but then gladly decided to ignore Harper's occasional oddities. I didn't mind at all. I'd sell my soul to make her smile, even though Edward insisted our kind lacked that special human quality.

"Do I really need a special reason to check up on my favorite cousin, especially after such a nasty fall?" Seth replied, pretending to be hurt.

"They're gonna give you hell when they find out you were here."

"_If_ they find out. I was kinda counting on you not picking up the phone and telling them right away."

I took to observing their conversation silently again. When I had reminded Seth of my presence a moment earlier I had distinctly felt his hostility flaring up once more. Of whichever nature his feelings of loyalty towards Harper might be, he wasn't going to extend them onto me, at least not in the near future. For a brief moment I considered leaving the room and waiting outside to ease the tension, but Harper still held my hand in a firm grasp. I always wondered how the icy coldness never seemed to bother her. Plus I was way too curious as to where this was going.

"Like they would even listen to me right now." She stated bitterly, the hurt in her voice apparent, then turned to Seth again. "But there's something else you want to say. I can feel it."

Seth looked both astonished and ashamed now, nervously biting his lip and staring at his hands on the light sheets. He seemed an awful lot like a small child that had just been caught stealing out of mom's sacred cookie jar – thoroughly uncomfortable.

"Actually you're just as opposed to me and Jasper as the remainder of the pack, but you don't dare voice it because you can barely survive a day without Ember, and if you want to see her you have to make sure I won't rip your head off first." Harper concluded, now barely able to hold back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. Seth just nodded yes, but at least had the decency to look as if he felt bad for putting her through this. I could take it no longer and rose to my feet once again.

"If sorrow and hurt is all you can bring then you might as well leave. Now." I growled. Seth glared right back at me with an equal sentiment of hatred, jumping to his feet as well. He tensed, as did I.

"If you're only going to fight you can both go!" Harper cried, tears now running freely. Suddenly I became very aware of her one hand around my wrist and the other gripping Seth's hand with similar fervor. Her grasp was as firm as she could manage, the knuckles standing out so white that I feared the bone would break through the skin any moment.

"But he's a vampire and I'm a wolf!" Seth almost yelled. I couldn't have expressed it better.

"And I'm a Capricorn!" Harper exclaimed distressedly. "I won't have anyone fighting for or about or because of me. If that's all you can do than you can leave now. Both. I'm not taking sides in this silly conflict. The choice is yours." It hurt to know I partly caused her pain, but couldn't she understand? Vampires and wolves – it's traditionally antagonistic.

"But…" Seth and I started to object simultaneously.

"No. No but, I love you both more than you can possibly know and I will not be taking sides for or against either. If you can't live with that go. It's either love or war, but I refuse to be a part of the latter."

"Harper, love," I started to reason, though not really knowing how to convince her. A part of me was disappointed she would not stand up for me, for us.

"Love. Or. War. Your choice. I know what I'd choose." She stated firmly. Suddenly I was afraid to lose her. Maybe our love wasn't strong enough if it could be destroyed by something like this. She was already willing to send me away. Of course I should have known it. Who could love a monster like me? I took the time to take a deep look into her dark eyes, now glossy with tears of frustration. That moment I knew there couldn't be a question. It was incomprehensible how I could ever have doubted.

"I choose love." I said and sat, planting a soft kiss on the back of her hand. "Forgive me."

She sighed in relief. We both looked up at Seth, who was still towering above the bed menacingly. He looked unsure. The pack or his cousins, one of which he imprinted on. Family against family. Love or war. He was basically stuck between a rock and a hard place and I didn't envy him. The wheels grinding in his head were almost visible.

"Firstly, you're a darn blackmailer." At this impertinence I would have almost attacked him. How dare he?

"And you're a darn Yankee." Harper teased back, hardly able to withhold the triumphant grin that was already tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I choose love." Seth finally said and sat down with a sigh.

"You know you're always welcome in our house." Harper replied.

"I'm so done for." He sighed wistfully, referring to the other wolves and their reactions when they would learn that he was 'fraternizing with the enemy'.

"They have no right to keep you from Ember. She's your intended soul mate. You imprinted on her. They know they can't do anything about it. It's their own rule."

Soon Harper could leave the hospital. Seth came over every single day after picking up Ember from elementary school. He really could not go through a single day without her. Although I did not trust him, a sentiment which he returned, we got along somehow. We made the effort for our girls and I must say that apart from the fact that he's a wolf Seth is quite alright. Nevertheless we kept apart as much as possible, which wasn't all that difficult since Ember shared her sister's unlimited need for activity. As Harper was currently pretty much an invalid it was out of the question that she would jump around the place like her usual bouncy self. Truly, I couldn't quite believe how any ordinary human could ever be able to keep up with her. In that respect she was like Flubber: once let loose she'd bounce off virtually any firm surface, absolutely unstoppable. I always wondered where she drew these tremendous amounts of energy from. Of course being trapped inside the house made her slightly cranky, a state I constantly tried to diffuse. Of course that didn't mean we spent every minute making out on the couch. No, also in the kitchen, in the hallway, her room… but jokes aside, Harper needed any distraction now, yearned for it with sickening despair, or else the hurt about the wolves' betrayal would have been unbearable. In a way I was almost glad Seth was there, then again there was that tiny yet sharp sting in my heart, the nagging voice at the back of my mind that constantly questioned why I couldn't be enough. I shoved it away every time it surfaced, telling myself that there was nothing to worry about regarding that. The two of us were closer now than ever before.

Also Edward had given up a good part of his resolve now that her ties with the wolf pack were basically cut off, though for some unknown reason he was still convinced that it wouldn't end well. This allowed me to bring her over to our house as well without the danger of my sulking brother spoiling the mood. Of course Esme had immediately taken Harper to her big, motherly heart.

* * *

My sister lovingly adorned my cast with an armada of stick figurines and flowers and blue and purple objects that bore a striking resemblance to either pickles or bacteria. I was presently propped up on the couch and Ember sat on my healthy leg, effectively cutting off the blood supply, but that couldn't irk me. She meant well, wanted to cheer me up with her artistic endeavors, yet it didn't really help as much as I would have liked. I glared at the cast, which basically turned me into a bloody paraplegic temporarily, and out of the window alternately and huffed in order to vent the growing frustration that overcame me.

"It can't rain all the time." I complained to no one in particular.

"Of course it can. This is Forks remember?" my mum cheerfully replied. Of course she wouldn't mind the awful weather. She was brought up in this swamp after all. In moments like these I really missed Texas.

"Isn't Jasper coming over anytime soon? You're starting to get on my nerves." Mum chided with mock annoyance. It might sound insensitive to strangers, but that's just the way she is and I have always adored her dry, sometimes deep black, kind of humor.

"Um, yeah. Or no. Actually I have no idea. We had nothing planned." That was a little white lie. Actually Jasper was out hunting today, _with Edward_. I don't know how, but I'm glad. They hadn't really spoken with each other the previous weeks, and it had bothered Jasper more than he'd ever admit. Maybe Bella bullied Edward into it. I will probably never know.

"Well, I'm quite positive he'll be at the door any second. That boy is basically addicted to you it seems."

"No more or less than dad is to you." I countered with a wide grin, eliciting a giggle from my sister. _And no less than I am addicted to him…_

"Harpie and Jazzy sitting in a tree…" Ember began to sing loudly and slightly off key, a pain to any musically talented person, but I always find it hilarious when she does that. She just saved my mood with it.

"No, sweetie, it's 'Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree'." I played along, barely able to stifle the girlish giggles that were rising up in my throat.

"He's really quite doting though, isn't he?" mum chimed up again from her place across from us.

"Dad?"

"No, Jasper I mean."

"Oh … um yeah, sure…" I answered somewhat incoherently. Was the nature of our relationship really that obvious to the outside world? I tend to forget there even is one with Jasper around. It's like being in a big, protecting cocoon.

"Oh, dear! I totally lost track of time. Emmy, we gotta go!" my mum suddenly exclaimed while darting up from her seat, pretty much snatching her bag and their jackets with one hand and my sister with the other. It's just good that the mother of Ember's best friend also happens to be a very close friend of my mum. They often did things together like they would today.

"Bye, darling." Mum said as she gave me a peck on the forehead. "Have a good one."

"Thanks, you two as well. I'm going to put on Muse or Meat Loaf on full volume and dance around the house like a crazy person full of amphetamines." I joked, upon which I received an odd look. "Oh come on, mum. I need to _move_!" I complained, glaring at my cast again. I loathed that thing.

"Just don't do anything I or your father wouldn't do."

"Yeah, sure." I called after them, then waited until I heard the car pull out of the driveway and onto the street before snatching the remote and turning on the music to full volume. Hey, at least I refrained from dancing and since there was nobody around who could sue me I also sang along at the top of my lungs to 'Word Up', the version by Gun ('cause it just rocks!). Seriously, I could not hit a note for the life of me. My singing is so bad that I could go to American Idol for the sole purpose of torturing the jury panel. For this reason I only sing when no one's around (or around deaf people for that matter). That being done I contemplated what else to do with so much free time on my hands. Well, what _do_ you do on a rainy Saturday afternoon if you're a temporary paraplegic? It was either watching the _OC_ or Steinbeck's _Grapes of Wrath_. Or I could call Bella and try to haul her out of her Edward-deprivation. Though decision. Well, what can I say? My inner nerd awakened and so I made myself comfortable with some caramel ice cream and _The Grapes of Wrath_.

I had barely reached the half of the third chapter when I heard a car pull into the driveway. It sounded rather sickly, not how a fully intact car should sound, so I knew it couldn't be mum, in case she had forgotten something, or dad, who returned early from fishing with some friends.

Yet who would stop by our place at this hour? Normally I would have been up and at the front window by now, but in my current state it took me long enough to hoist myself up to answer to the hesitant knock at the door.

"I'll be there in a sec … no, make it a minute." I called as limped down the hallway.

At the sight of the person before me when I finally opened the door I was … surprised doesn't quite do the job, nor does shocked, astonished, stunned, taken aback or dumbfounded. I actually don't think there is a word within the English language that is able to properly convey my sentiment in this very moment. A new word would need to be invented in order to express that and it would have to equal the sum of all the previous times itself a thousand fold at least. To put it more shortly I would sooner have expected the president plus his first lady and the queen of England to drop by for tea and biscuits.

"Embry?" had hell frozen over now or what? He looked thoroughly uncomfortable, like he had to walk to his own execution.

"Um … hi Harper."

"Um … hi? Don't you 'hi' me, mister. What are you doing here anyway? Did Jacob regain his senses or did Sam make you come?" I spat. It wasn't nice, but they had betrayed me and I think I had a right to be pissed about that. It hurt. Badly.

If that was even possible Embry looked considerably more unwell after my outburst than he had before. I could hardly care less. He was not here on his own accord though. That much was clear.

"What do you want? And make it quick." There was no need to prolong the suffering more than absolutely necessary. At least there was the tiniest chance that he was coming with a peace offer or at least one of armistice. Miracles can happen after all. As long as it was possible I wasn't going to slam the door right into his face like I wanted to, like _really wanted_, just for the sake of venting off some steam. He had the expression of a true martyr and a small part of me pitied him. The rest said to leave him standing right there, outside in the pouring rain. Important life lesson number (1? 2? 14? Actually I haven't the slightest idea): Never (if you value your life that is: _NEVER_) piss off yours truly. Just don't. If I get mad I also get mean and that's not pretty.

"Grandma Delia wants to see you." He croaked out, looking about as miserable as I suddenly felt. Oh, woe is me! I'd rather be locked into a tiny closet with Jacob and Leah (and Edward, just for the sprinkle of extra tension) than having to meet up with the real life model for the wicked witch of the west, and a witch she was, as evil as one can possibly get. I might have to do a bit of explaining here. Grandma Delia doesn't actually have any children (because for that to happen a brave man would have had to put up with her, and no one is that masochistic), hence she cannot have any real grandchildren, but since she was the grey eminence, the grand informal matriarch of the Makah, she ruled with an iron fist and two or three stored up just in case. Absolutism? She invented it, and when that didn't suffice anymore she came up with dictatorship. If she was the grandmaster of the Sith the devil was her Padawan. Everyone better did as she pleased or they'd be met with hell on earth already. Doctor House is tame and sympathetic compared to her. Simon 'Never Satisfied' Cowell is the nicest and most charming chap on this planet compared to her. She hadn't said a friendly word in her life. In fact the first word she said, it is rumored, was … something I really cannot repeat here for the sake of decency. Just be sure it would be censored on national television. By the way, that happened around the same time as dinosaurs began to roam the earth, Delia beginning to talk I mean. And she has barely ever stopped since then. There was always someone (or something) around that could be insulted, belittled or shunned. Essentially it can be assessed that she is a vile, obnoxious, rickety old bat.

So for the second time this afternoon I was faced with different possibilities of how to proceed from this point. There was either comfortable, cozy, warm, and above all safe home with loads of good books, a TV in close vicinity, and largely sufficient amounts of ice cream; or on the other hand: purgatory. Only that this time there wasn't a choice, it was an order. Haul your rear end over or you will wish yourself dead as will the poor guy I sent to get you. Why oh why oh why oh why? I should really beat up Embry with one of my crutches for doing this to me, I truly should. And if it actually changed anything at all I surely would have. Instead I gave the couch a longing look and grumbled: "I gotta be back by six pm." I hoped it sounded menacing. Embry's head hung so low by now he could have tied his shoes with his tongue.

Once I had heaved my leg into Embry's car I gave him the silent treatment. Then again I also couldn't stand the silence, so I turned on the radio.

_I am the fountain of affection  
I'm the instrument of joy  
And to keep the good times rolling  
I'm the boy, I'm the boy,  
You know the world could be our oyster,  
You just put your trust in me,  
Cause we'll keep the good times rolling  
Wait and see, wait and see....oh wait and see!_

His exaltation, a sweet disintegration.  
A few discolorations, then it comes along  
up is why he chooses, the kisses and the bruises  
There ain't nothing he refuses, then it comes along  
It comes along, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!

_When I'm up I can't get down,_

_Can't get down, can't get level._

_When I'm up I can't get down  
Get my feet back on the ground  
When I'm up I can't get down  
Can't get down, can't get level  
When I'm up I can't get down  
Get my feet back on the ground_

It blared out of the speakerphones with much optimistic drive. No. Bad. It didn't fit the situation at all. Under different circumstances I would have loved that song for sure. Right now it was more like the universe was mocking me. Cruel universe. How infuriating.

"The radio's kinda broken. I can't get another station." Embry stated apologetically. I scoffed and turned up the volume, deliberately ignoring him. The ride stretched out like old chewing gum. Just when I was about to point out that I didn't have my passport on me, which he should know since we must be reaching the Canadian border any moment, he took a left turn off the highway and onto the road to the Makah reservation. Darn. I guess there was no way for me to get out of this. It was inevitable that the car wormed its way through the streets, inevitable that it eventually stopped in front of the monster's house, inevitable that we had to get out and go inside. I wish I could just turn and run away, but I had this bloody cast. I truly loathed that thing for a variety of reasons, and the list grew daily. For one there was its sheer size. I mean the thing is humongous! No decent pair of pants fits over it and so I have to wear skirts. In winter! Skirts! I don't do skirts. I don't even own skirts. I loathe skirts. Now I had to wear them everywhere everyday; at school, at home, at the Cullen's, at Bella's, at school… you get the picture. I meant what I said to my mother the day they let me out of the hospital: In all my life there is only one kind of occasion where I will voluntarily wear either skirts or dresses, and that special kind of occasion is weddings. I would wear a dress on my own wedding, on my sister's wedding and possibly at my children's weddings, if until then I didn't find a way to get out of it. That being established she shoved me inside her room, buried me under a pile of her own skirts and that's what I have been wearing since that day. Horrid. And it's not even that mum has bad taste or something like that. Quite the opposite. I just don't particularly like the way Newton, Crowley and some others (even teachers!) stare at my legs (well, the one leg more like) now. Jasper isn't all too amused about that either. Well, at least I have my crutches and these have got spikes under them, so I don't slip and break another bone as well. Crutches are good, but crutches with spikes are even better, especially for teaching someone a lesson. I would rather take those matters into my own hands, because it wouldn't be good if anyone of our classmates turned up with suspicious bite marks. Oh gosh, behold my violent tendencies. This isn't good.

"Harper? Are you alright to go?" Embry called, effectively ripping me out of my mental rambling, which had merely been a means of distraction. It hadn't worked. I was still a nervous wreck as I limped the few feet from the car to the patio. Time to face the dragon.

"You're slower than a paraplegic snail, child. Hurry up, I'm not getting younger." The door creaked upon being opened. No, that's not quite accurate. It sounded like the creaking of a door, but the sounds formed actual words. Insults at that. I'm pretty sure doors don't speak and if they do they'd definitely be more polite. I feel compelled to assume the creepy horror-movie worthy creaking was actually Grandma Delia's voice. Curious how my how mind had pushed such details aside. Our first and last meeting must have had quite an impression on eight-year-old me. Disturbing.

"Do I get an answer, girl?"

"I _am_ a paraplegic snail. What is it you want?" I snapped defiantly.

"You're Eleanor's daughter." She stated, stepping into the dim light in this dark cave of a room. Everything in here looked incredibly old, but nothing as old and worn as the short, cranky woman in front of me. She pieced me with her gaze a few times before taking a seat and inspecting her hands.

"My thanks, I'd never have gue …" I began to say with dripping irony, as much as I could possibly muster, but was interrupted by the creaking horror movie voice again. It made me cringe worse than fingernails being run over a blackboard.

"Silence, girl. I have summoned you, because you're Eleanor's daughter. You are not ordinary."

"Am I supposed to just say true or false at every statement that you throw at me?"

"There's a family in this town who are also not ordinary. I have been told you entertain a close relationship with those creatures. Do you know what they are?" she fired back at me. Any prime litigation lawyer could learn an awful lot from her when it came to cross-examinations. She hadn't offered me a seat yet, and I didn't expect she would.

"I knew _what_ they were from the moment I saw them for the first time, but it's _who_ they are that's important." I spoke up again in the Cullen's favor. I didn't like where this seemed to be headed.

"You know the old stories how the Quileute became wolves. Do you know the old stories of our people, girl?" I shook my head no, unable to say anything for the bile that was rising up in my throat.

"Then I am going to tell you. When the cold creatures came to roam these lands there were some fiercer than others and some calmer. The legend tells us of a man of the cold creatures who came here, into this settlement, and the people were torn between fear and awe. He looked at them hungrily, each one right into their eyes so as to assess whether the souls were worthy to still his thirst, when his eyes fell on the daughter of the midwife. She was the loveliest girl of our people at that time we are told. Plus, she had some…let's call it abilities that were extraordinary. So, the two looked at each other for a moment and suddenly the blood thirst in his eyes is replaced by another kind of longing. From that day forward the cold creature lived with our people, always at the side of the midwife's daughter, and no one was ever hurt." At this point Delia paused for a moment in order to drink some water. I stood rooted to the ground. Up until now it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated, though that story sounded oddly familiar to me.

"In fact it is said that they loved each other very much, the girl and the vampire. Everything was well for a time. With his strength the vampire helped with many things in the community, and soon he was well liked. But then, it is not known after how long a time, he fell ill, spent some days or weeks in agony and nothing will ever be heard from him again." Bam. She ended just like that. In your face, see what you can make of that, girl. I knew better than to ignore the old legends. Suddenly I felt cold. I shivered.

"So why are you telling me this again?" I asked in a most futile attempt to diffuse my rising panic. To no avail.

"Are you really that slow, girl? You know what it all adds up to; even better so than I ever could. Do you know what they called the midwife's daughter back then? The peacemaker, because she could control the Quileutian wolves as well as banning the danger from the cold creatures. It's what you are, too. A sort of hunter if you will. You're meant to fight the vampires, sooner or later they will succumb to your powers anyway."

Enough. I've had enough of this rubbish. I turned on my heel and marched off and out of the house, leaving the old spinster behind with that triumphant grin on her face. Of course one could argue that she just made that up, for whatever reason. Maybe she had teamed up with Jacob in order to make my life a living hell, but no. There was one tiny yet significant detail that defied any such theory from the start: Delia was honest. If there was one thing she truly never did it was lying. It was her most powerful weapon to be brutally frank. Plus she was way too proud of our heritage and traditions to make up a whole new legend. She didn't lie.

The ride back home was pretty much the same as the ride there. None of us, neither Embry nor I, said a word, but this time the radio stayed silent. I had too much to ponder.

* * *

_whoa, part 7 is finally done. regarding the reviews it's business as usual: give them to me! _

_maybe you'd also like to take part in the Twilight poll I set up on my profile page please? Pleasepleaseplease! _

_anything else? oh yeah, the song that is being referred to is "When I'm up (I can't get down)" by Great Big Sea, just in case anyone's interested. until then, keep the comments coming and the story will progress._


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